Sunday, February 14, 2010

Why Aaron....

     The question has come up from different people over the last few weeks why we decided to adopt Aaron.  Why not adopt a child from our country?  My honest answer has been that it wasn't in our planbook at all to adopt Aaron.  Since before we were married we talked about doing foster care.  Over the years we have considered it and yet never felt it was the right time in our lives.  We were waiting for the boys to get older and our lives to get less hectic.  I traveled three years ago with a friend to help her adopt Nithya from India.  It was an incredible experience but I didn't come back excited to adopt from India.  Over the last years as we have watched quite a number of families adopting, both internationally and through the foster system here, we did not feel any strong prompting to do it ourselves at this time in our lives.  I have bookmarked the children who are available in the foster system in our country and though I am saddened when I see them, I've never felt a strong calling to act on my sorrow.  Adoption was something we were going to do in the future. 
     But over the last few months, before I saw Aaron, God was beginning to move in my heart, opening me up for the possibility.  I remember walking around on Christmas day feeling like something was missing.  It was a bizarre, surreal feeling.  I had not even seen Aaron yet.  Our lives were way too busy to even consider adding one more thing. 
     On December 29 I saw Aaron for the first time.  His picture was featured and below his name were the words:  "HELP,  I HAVE ALREADY BEEN TRANSFERRED." I was blown away.  I stared at his picture.  All day I kept coming back to it.  I couldn't walk away.  I tried.  When Rob came home I showed him the picture and we discovered he was from an Eastern European country.  No way!  Not for us.  We said thanks but no thanks.  I prayed fervently for someone else to adopt Aaron.  I checked morning, afternoon and night to see if someone had adopted him.  I couldn't sleep and found myself crying at the drop of a hat.   Finally one night I reached my limit and in the still of the night, felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to go to my dear patient husband and tell him what was happening inside of me.  For a long, agonizing 30 minutes I lay there and cried and argued but finally I woke Rob up.   We talked the rest of the night.
     What I saw happen to Rob in the next few days was just as shocking to me as seeing Aaron's face that first time.  I never told my husband we should adopt Aaron.  I didn't ask him to consider adopting Aaron.  All I did was share that something snapped in me when I saw Aaron and I could no longer handle it alone.  He not only carried my burden, he stepped first.   Three days after I dumped the whole thing in his lap he said "I'm ready to follow your heart."
     It wasn't my heart.  It never was.  It was God moving in me and then in Rob.  Why Aaron... because God picked that little boy for us, over there and all we can do is be faithful to that call. 

On this Valentine's Day, my Valentines go to my husband first and then my boys... Ben, Elijah and my dear little guy halfway across the world who doesn't even know we are doing everything in our power to come get him!

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