Friday, December 10, 2010

Still Reeling...

In case you wondered... I am still in shock over last night's news.  I could NOT sleep last night... Brady and Gavin have families.  Unbelievable.  Two boys in one night.  After hours of laying in bed, I quit trying to sleep and decided I should just get up and work on the computer (as always - writing Medieval curriculum).  Now I'm tired and it is 9:00 am.  Ben is at the Community College, Elijah is making himself breakfast and Aaron is still sleeping.  I want to go back to bed.  But my brain is still full of thoughts.

Sweet thoughts.  Sad thoughts.  Thoughts overflowing.  Part of me - the human, tired part - wants to rejoice and then go back to what used to be normal.  Brady has a family.  My number one goal when I left that village in September.  Can I pass the baton?  Can I say "all is well" and then pick up where we left off a year ago - before the lightning bolt of adoption hit our family?  Yeah! Hurrah!  Gavin is going home.  Praise God.  I'm done.

That's the human side.  The 'tired of feeling overwhelmed with the children pouring over the wall' side.  The selfish, 'pitiful is me' side.  The sick on my stomach each time I post about my Lost Boys side.  The weary of our financial woes and just wanting life to ease up side.  Brady has a family.  Gavin does too.  I rejoice deeply in that news.  It makes me cry tears - tears that are so confused that I can't even put into words how I feel.  But I know it isn't over.  Not for me anyway.  Not for Rob.  The first words out of his mouth after I told him were - "Poor little Heath.  Who's going to go get him?"  My thoughts too.

What about Heath?  What about poor, pitiful little Heath - sitting in his shared wheelchair, playing with the only toy he can find - a string.  A dirty piece of frayed string.  Who's going to yell for Heath if I quit?  Maybe someone else will but probably not as loudly.  He's too easy to forget.  He didn't even show up on the radar until we walked into his institute.  He was completely hidden.  Truly Lost.  In reality, he's only been barely 'found.'  Heath needs someone yelling his name.  So do the other boys in that place.  They need to be found.  You see there are 100+ boys at that institute who are NOT listed for adoption.  Many should be but unless the director agrees - they remain completely Lost to the outside world.  The boys walking or in wheelchairs - the ones we saw - there are about 60 of them.  Inside those buildings, laying in cribs, are 40-70 MORE boys.  They can't even feed themselves.  They are unable to sit up.  They are laying there - day after day - rotting.  Dying.  Who will yell?  Yell, so that we can pray and then pray all the harder.  Pray for the Lost Boys - the ones seen and the ones not seen. 

I have to keep yelling.  Praise God, Brady and Gavin have families.  I rejoice - I celebrate - I weep.  So many more.  So many.  We can't quit.  Too many more are pouring over the walls.   I want them to pour.  Seriously.  I'm praying with all my heart that some of those who come pouring over that wall will be newly 'found' Lost Boys from Brady and Aaron's FORMER institute.  Please pray with me.  And don't forget little Lost Heath.  He too needs a family.  Strings are not proper toys for little boys.

12 comments:

  1. I feel your pain. And your joy. I first read your blog a couple of weeks ago, and totally fell in love with Heath. Unfortunately, I am not able to adopt him - but if I could, believe me, he'd already have a home. I have lost sleep several nights over him - but when I saw that Brady had found a family, my hope for Heath was renewed. I can't even bear to think about the Lost Boys.

    ReplyDelete
  2. it will never be over. We rejoice for one and quickly set our sights on the next soul to help. I am rejoicing with you on the news of Gavin!!! And Brady. Once you know about them you can never stop.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You got me crying now. God bring ALL our hearts for the orphan.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Right. We can't stop. We will continue to yell until God's people arise as a mighty force to deal with the damage Satan has caused.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yeah rejoicing with you!WE will continue to pray for the family and of course both of your hearts! God is sooooo GOOD!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Keep yelling Julia!! And keep praying. God knows who Heath's family is. Pray that they listen to Him. We'll find them... just keep yelling...

    ReplyDelete
  7. I LOVE that man of yours!!! I thought the same thing! And I knew you would be thinking the same within minutes! LOL! I just KNOW Heath's family is out there and will go get him! Even though you may not feel it, you have done SO much for these boys!!! It will never be over so rejoice in finding them homes one orphan at a time!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hallelujah! You are right about the selfish part, though. However, I'm not going to beat myself up too much right now, since I don't have a spare moment with my three new busy bees! You have made a difference, though, and are an eloquent writer. Hopefully, my example makes a difference to someone also. I pray that God leads me, and I follow.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Praise God! May He continue to bless your faithfulness. Look how your work is being multiplied. When those 2 families go into those places, more lost boys will be found. More hearts will be burdened, and more voices will take up the chant.

    Thank you for challenging me about Heath. I have to admit that I wasn't praying as much for him. I am ashamed to admit that I am much less likely to pray for the more severely delayed, multiply handicapped children. I truly am ashamed of myself. I thought I was caring for the "least of these", but I learned that my heart is still not open to the least of the least.

    I am praying that my heart will be softened and my eyes will be opened with compassion for these needier children. I am going to start with Heath!

    Thank you once again, Julia, for your faithfulness.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I've posted on my blog about Heath, in an effort to spread the word about him. He weighs heavy on my heart. I want you to know that I think you made the difference that resulted in Brady finding his family. You spread the word about him, and you shared your experience in adopting Aaron. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I have been following you for quite some time now. You are an amazing woman and writer. Your words bring tears to my eyes and joy to my heart daily. When I read your nothing post the other day I felt so terrible that you were still living with all this pain. Then I thought if God had not chosen you to witness all of this, would the word be out there as it is now. I love your shouting from the rooftops for these boys.If it had been someone else would they have just moved on? God chose you you be the voice for these boys, and I am so glad he did. He could not have chosen better. God Bless you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I think you found your calling from God. And I don't think that Paul (or any other person in the Bible called by God to do something important) skipped being weary or tired from the largeness (word?) or just overwhelming numbers of lost people that his 'job' involved, it's ok don't feel bad for your authentic feelings. I think God allows this so we lean on Him completely and trust that we don't know the answer and we may never see the end this side of eternity; but hopefully we become fulfilled by being a cog in the beautiful workings He has put into motion. I hold fast to the promise that He will never leave us, not even little Heath, (or Charity the RR child on my heart) while he plays with a dirty string God is holding him in the palm of His hand.

    ReplyDelete

Loving words from kind people make our hearts glad!

THE BIGGEST HOMESCHOOL CURRICULUM OF THE YEAR!

Save up to 95% on Homeschool Curriculum at the 2018 Build Your Bundle Sale