Focus on the Prize

     I'm glad I have Aaron's picture at the top of this blog to help me keep focused on what we are doing.  His dimples, his smile - that is what I am working toward!  Those dimples first knocked me off my feet when I saw them in December and they continue to call me back when I feel like going to pieces over the heart-wrenching, stomach twisting parts of this process. 

     This morning I fell apart.  Completely, totally fell apart.

     Today was important in that we were trying to get the extra paper requested of us by our  facilitator finished and mailed to Aaron's country.  I had to get our CPA in the same room as our notary and get the paper signed.  Then I had to take the signed paper to Richmond (our state capital) to get the notary's signature certified.  Finally a run to the mailbox place to pay boatloads of money to send that paper to Aaron's country by the fastest means possible (UPS...again). 

     After arranging the notary and the CPA meeting and finishing up that phase I came back home only to look at the papers and panic.  Full-blown, crying panic that they were not signed correctly.  I e-mailed everyone that I knew to check the paper.  I called Rob and he agreed that he thought the paper was probably wrong when I described it.  I called one of the facilitators on the phone and after a very tense thirty minutes... I was right.  The error was ridiculous but nonetheless... it had to be re-done.

     I fell completely apart.  I was up at 5:30 am worrying over this one document and thought I had all my ducks in a row.  Before I even got out of the block I had messed up.   The CPA and notary did not work in the same county and I couldn't even reach the CPA on the phone.  An hour later I was still shedding buckets of tears and trying to reach anybody who could reach anybody who could connect me to the CPA. 

     I finally reached him but alas, there was no notary available at his office.  My notary could not drive down.  What to do.... After much discussion, we finally worked it out and after a whole bunch of running around, the paper was signed...correctly.

     In the midst of the horror, when the tears were pouring and I couldn't get under control, I stopped to e-mail the Reece's Rainbow group to ask for prayer.  I confessed that I was in shambles and just needed prayer.  They responded.  They prayed.  I left the house to get the paper fixed and suddenly I just calmed down.  Deep in my spirit the calm came.  Weary, tired, but no longer with a heart of chaos.  The tears stopped.  I was able to breathe.  I became rational and was able to pray myself.  The following verses came to me... I will let them speak for themselves. 

Hebrews 12: 1-3 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

     The signed, notarized and certified paper is now on its way to Aaron's country. Dad drove me to Richmond so that I could rest after the traumatic paper chase. I mailed it this afternoon and will begin tracking it when it gets in the system.

    Fixing our eyes on Jesus and focusing on the dimples.... One more day closer to Aaron...