How's Aaron??

We have had a lot of people wanting to know how Aaron is doing.  The little fugitive has been in our possession for almost three weeks and to be honest, we are still in the 'figuring out how Aaron is doing ourselves' stage.   We've had good days, we've had hard days and we've had the 'scratch your head, not sure what happened' days.   Three weeks is not long enough to understand what goes on in the mind of a child who has been taken out of the only world he knows and thrust into a world so big and strange that it takes his breath away.  All the props have been knocked out from under his feet and the poor little guy is trying to figure out a way to stand again.  Aaron is a rule keeper by nature and he is struggling to figure out the rules in this new world.   His world at the institute was based on a rigid schedule - the same foods, the same nurses, the same activities (nothing) to occupy his day.  He knew every person at the institute - their job, their schedule, their personality.  He knew what was supposed to happen and when at every minute of his day.  Aaron found security in that knowledge.

Our world is not regulated by the same system.  We do have routines that we have established for him and those have become his lifeline.  Morning routines, dressing routines, bathtime routines and tucking in bed routines are strictly followed in order to give him a sense of sameness and security that he craves.  The rest of our day is dependent upon the schedules of the four older people in his family.  Sometimes Papa is home but most of the time Papa is away 'at work'.  This is a difficult concept for a little boy to grasp and at times it shows in his anger at Papa when he is home.   Ben and Elijah move in and out of the house at breathtaking speed.  It is hard on him.  Aaron came out of a world that was black and white.  Everything was the same, day in and day out.

So how is he doing? 

In terms of bathroom and sleeping, he is doing wonderful. 

In terms of eating, it is definitely a work in progress.  We have yet to find food that he not only likes but that also satifies his hunger.  As we became sick of soup in his country, we know he is sick of yogurt, cucumbers and fruit here, but they are the one constant that he is willing to eat consistently.  When he is hungry, he is willing to try other foods but he is clearly not happy with his food choices.  We are trying.  Many quiet tears down his face have been shed over the eating issue which breaks our hearts, but each day is a little better than the last in the food department.

In the social realm, he is very shy around anyone outside our family.  Since he holds celebrity status in our world, (the power of blogs) it makes it rather difficult for him in public.  Everyone knows his name.  This causes distress in our little fugitive, as he would choose to stay hidden at this point.  But all in all, he is slowly getting used to going out.  The joy of riding in the car is slowly outweighing the discomfort of mingling with the masses.  We are seeing progress in his willingness to being carried into buildings.  He loves the stores, loves seeing the trucks on the roads, loves pointing out the cows and other animals (we live in the country).

As far as language issues go, Aaron is understand more and more of what we are saying to him in English and is very slowly incorporating some English words into his vocabulary.  Sadly, though he talks to us in Ukrainian/Russian non-stop, we rarely understand what he is saying.  He uses foot motions, mouth pointing and every other trick he can think of to try to get us to figure out what he is say but we are often left scratching our heads.  His patience with us in this area astounds us.  I would be beating my head against a rock if I was dropped into a world where no one understood a word I said.  He just patiently tells us again and again until he realizes the futility of his words.

Emotionally, Aaron has good days and bad days.  At his institute, he survived by bossing, manipulating and using a rather developed silent treatment on the adults who cared for him.  These were valuable tools he desperately needed to survive, but in a family, they are no longer necessary and healthy.  Giving them up is terrifying for him.  The battles have begun but we are committed to winning the war.  Each day is a new opportunity to teach this love-starved little boy that no matter what he choses to throw our way, we will not abandon him or withold our love from him. 

As far as his physical disabilities go, we will begin addressing his Arthrogryposis issues next month with our first visit to the Shriner's Hospital in Philly.  Until then we are working hard at keeping him safe from the ever-constant danger of falling.  He has been doing extremely well about not falling outside (grass play is so much better than concrete play) but inside is another story.  It is sad to learn lessons at the expensive of Aaron's poor little head.  We are removing slippery carpets, no longer dressing him in the bathroom and overall watching for things that would cause him to trip and fall. 

We are loving our little guy more and more as the days goes by.  He is funny, creative and just all around precious.  We take great delight in his smiles and laughter.  The fact that God chose this little boy to be in our family still causes us to marvel at His wisdom and grace.  Not every day is a walk in the park - we are adjusting to a new normal and it is stretching each one of us.  Love is very much a choice, but we are learning to take delight in how God is weaving our family into a new design that includes a very special former 'lost boy.'