Oh Conrad!!!

Look who showed up in my private feed this morning!!!

Oh Conrad you are growing up!!

Wee little boy with his curly hair and somber eyes!

SOMEONE SCOOP HIM UP!!! PLEASE!!!!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!

I want to see that baby smile!!

It's Friday and this little guy is FATHERLESS and 270.00 has been raised so far (goal is 1,000) and I am so excited getting this new picture of sweet boy!

I was getting a  bit weary sharing this one lonely picture over and over again!!

His Reece's Rainbow grant account is HERE!

HELP ME GET THIS LITTLE GUY SEEN!!

Share him far and wide!! 

Donate into his grant account. Please don't think that 5.00 won't make a difference. It does. All you have to donate is 5.00. That's it!! Every 5 is a gift to his Mama and Papa!

Please!!!

Help me help Conrad!!!

Being Real

I will just come clean right now.

 

I cannot do it again.

Rob and I crossed the ocean eight times and brought home three treasures. We waded through mountains of paperwork, prayed a zillion prayers, wrote a ton of checks, lost thousands of hours of sleep, worried and cried and longed and hoped. And that was just getting them home.

The last nine years have been a wild ride and we wouldn't change a thing (except for maybe more sleep, less stress, less medical, less seizures and more date nights).

But I can't do it again.

We have our hands full.

Too full.

We look at each other sometimes realizing that we honestly are a bit in over our heads. Okay. Most days we are drowning.

I won't lie.

Having two physically disabled 15 year old sons who lived in a world of trauma has been challenging enough, but Mary's seizures and subsequent behavior that goes with that have upended our world in a way we never thought possible.

On Tuesday morning she scared us terribly as she was laying on her stomach in my bed seizing. Faceplanted. If we hadn't been there.... I can't even.....

The constant vigilance is 24/7 with her.

I'm exhausted most days.

I am hanging by a tether on the rest of the days.

Between teaching and writing full time for our curriculum (BiblioPlan for those who homeschool) and trying to maintain a house and being mom and other responsibilities that call our name - we just know that we can't adopt again.

So when I see a little boy wearing pink clothes, laying in a crib so desperate for a Mama, I grieve differently than I did a few years ago.

A few years ago the possibility of adoption inspired me to yell with the whispered knowledge in the background that maybe maybe I could be the one to claim him or her as my own.

It's different yelling this time.

It's different because for now and possibly forever, the door is closed for us.

It's different because I truly know the cost.

It's different because weariness means I don't yell as loudly or as effectively.

It's different because now more than ever I know that adoption is too often not bells and roses and rainbows and gingerbread cookies.

But I'm still yelling.

Conrad was listed on Reece's Rainbow a year ago - December 2018 - and in that time a sweet person or two donated $55.00 in his grant account. I wish I could hug them. They cared. They didn't look at the price tag of adoption - 24,000-30,000 - and say that their tiny bit wouldn't make a difference so why bother. They gave their little with faith believing that their little mattered.

Back in the summer someone sent me Conrad's picture. They cared enough to share him with me. 

Those were Conrad's Warriors. Simple people taking simple steps to advocate for a lonely little boy in a crib.

People quietly yelling in their own way for an abandoned babe.

When I was sent Conrad's picture I looked at his sweet face and his little arm that looks so much like Aaron's and the silly little pink girlie socks on his tiny little probably clubbed feet, and I said right then and there that he would be my Angel Tree boy.

I can't have him.

I cannot have Conrad. He's not mine to claim.

But he does belong to someone.

Someone reading this.

Someone who has looked around their table.

Someone willing to cross oceans, climb mountains and most of all love a little unloved boy.

His Mama is out there.  His Papa just doesn't know yet he belongs to him.

So I pray. And I shout. And I hope that someone is listening. Because the Holy Spirit sometimes just whispers quietly. And we have to stop focusing on the storms and winds and earthquakes in our lives and instead listen to the voice.

Listen.

Conrad needs you Mama. Papa.

Listen.

And for the rest of us... help me raise the funds that his Mama and Papa will need to get him home.

The goal is $1,000.

The real goal is a family.

CLICK HERE TO DONATE TO CONRAD

Challenging yes... but NOT scary!

Yes. I have the cutest HOME IMPROVEMENT kids!!

Do you know that two years ago this little girl became part of our family??

Oh my gracious she has rocked our world the last two years!!

(Helmet only off for picture taking)

So......

 

It's that time of year again.

The Angel Tree (Miracle of Adoption Christmas Campaign).

Every year for the last umpteen years, we have picked a child off the tree and worked hard to raise grant money for that child and find them a family.

For the last three years we were yelling hard for Ronald. He started out as a wee little thing in a crib with one picture and a bunch of scary diagnoses. 

The next year we had a few more pictures with the same diagnoses.

Last year he was an adorable little guy with the same diagnoses and I was beginning to despair.

But halfway through the campaign a delightful family stepped up and scooped him up and now Ronald Isaac - my sweet Angel Tree boy - is home with his HUGE family of sisters!! He's the tiny little brother everyone in that family wanted!

Oh how loved he is!! 

Oh how happy I am!!

So now it's Angel Tree/MACC time again and I had to pick a new child to advocate for....

Guess what???

I found another little  guy in a crib with only ONE picture.

One lonely picture of one lonely little guy.

This wee little guy in pink is Conrad.

He has arthrogryposis like Aaron. He was born in 2018 so he is LITTLE!

ARTHROGRYPOSIS IS NOT SCARY!!!!

Challenging yes... but NOT scary!!

I need to raise $1,000 for Conrad!!

I NEED TO FIND HIM A FAMILY!!

He is so little! Someone please love this sweet boy! Rescue him out of a lifetime of nothing! Please don't make me wait three years before he is surrounded by a loving family! 

His MACC account is HERE!

Start praying!! Consider adopting. Help me advocate. Donate - help raise his grant account. Make it easier for a family to scoop him out of that crib!!

Simple Acts

He watched us discreetly.

He was sitting at his table with his wife, eating his food, reading his book. It was their night out. Together eating and reading and relaxing.

We interrupted his peace.

Our family.

Three children with different needs.

We set up at the tables next to his. Mary in our arms. Seizing quietly. Half aware. Able to drink and even chew slowly. But still in the grip of status.

He saw us whispering. The worry on our faces. This was the third round that day, and she wasn't coming out.

He watched as we ate and whispered, deciding what to do. Weighing the options. He watched as we tended to the boys in the midst of Mary's crisis. The worry on their faces. They wanted to go to youth group. A trip to the hospital would upend their desires.

He watched as we decided to try again. Another round of rescue. Sitting in the restaurant. Feeling so alone in our struggle. 

Slowly, slowly the seizures eased and she began to relax. Sighs of relief. Whispers of thanksgiving. We cleaned up and carried her out to the van. He followed us out. Quietly. Without fanfare. Handing Rob a bit of money to pay for our dinner. Offering words of encouragement.

A simple act that spoke volumes.

To that man we say thank you. Thank you for kindly caring. Thank you. The loneliness of our drama eased. Someone saw. Someone cared.

And to the man in Subway.

We were ordering food. My friend and I. Four children.  On our way to the beach. He came in behind us. Saw our motley crew and his heart was moved. He paid for our food. Few words spoken. He wanted to be the hands of Christ. That was all. It was enough.

No fanfare. Just another simple act. But it blessed us. Both of us.

And to the man on the beach.

Seeing two women pulling a cart through the sand. John hanging on for dear life. The tires struggling to get through the deep sand.

He came running over. Grabbed the handle and pulled. Adding his strength to ours.

Nothing big. Just seeing the need and acting.

Being Jesus' hands and feet.

Simple acts that my children witness. Kindness from strangers who see our many needs and act.

We are a motley crew. Navigating in the world is not that easy.

The kindness of strangers are welcome gifts that help ease a bit of the strain.

Just simple acts.

Acts that lift our spirits, ease our burden and remind us that we are not alone.

Mary Mary....

Mary Mary, Quite Contrary....



How does your garden grow?



With silver bells, and cockleshells and pretty maids all in a row.

Well...

True for contrary....

but the silver bells and pretty maids.... hmmm.....

More like tsunami waiting to happen!!



She may look perfectly adorable but in reality - Little Girl is a hot mess every single minute of every single day!

I would love to give a positive, feel-good Mary update filled with adorable pictures and smiling faces.



But the reality is our little girl battles the epilepsy BEAST every single minute of her life and many days it wins.

Sunday was a 'win' day for the beast.

We had to rush her to the ER for rescue meds because ours just were not cutting it. 

We left 12 hours later with a wild child on our hands as the rescue meds bring out the raging, screaming, biting, scratching beast in her.

3 days later I'm writing this with a weary and sorrowful heart.

Standing by and watching what her seizures do to her is hard to take. Dealing with her drug-induced raging is exhausting and draining.

Her little body is battered and bruised from the constant falls that are never ending.

And the meds she takes means she's not always the sweet, adorable little girl in the pictures.

She's quite contrary most of the time.

And she suffers with her seizures.

We have done the best of everything out there. But each time we think we are making progress and the seizures are easing, her little brain reroutes around our best laid plans.

Her contrary brain thinks it is programmed to seize. And we are helpless to stop it.

It's hard.

She has rare great days. She has occasional good days. She has normal bad days. And she has scary days where she completely tanks.

It affects her ability to learn.

It affects her relationships.

It affects her behavior.

It affects her speech.

It affects her sleeping and eating.

It affects her ability to ever be left alone ever.

She's too dangerous.

She doesn't realize how dangerous she is.

Which makes her even more dangerous.

I want so badly to write positive words but our reality is a step-by-step, one-day at a time, trying this and trying that, bumping around in the dark.

We are on edge most of the time with her. We have learned that there is no normal when it comes to Mary's seizures. We never know when she will go into status. When we think we have figured out a pattern to her status she changes the pattern. When we think we have figured out her seizure types she changes the seizures. When we think we have seen the worst... well... this past weekend she let us know we haven't seen the worst.

Yet through it all, despite it all, she gets back up again.

She is resilient.

She is tough as nails.

She smiles in the midst.



Her contrary spirit may drain us to bits by the end of the day but it is how she survives and comes out each day with a smile on her face. She isn't going to let epilepsy rule her life.

She has a garden to grow.



With dreams of bells and shells and pretty things!

And by golly, that Little Girl is going to make it happen!!

Tsunami or not!!

Happy Birthday, John

FIFTEEN!!



NO WAY!!

Sweet boy.

A precious part of our family!!

He's our gadget boy. The one who loves to organize. The helper around the house. Electronics and engines fascinate him. He loves to take things apart. 

He has big dreams and tons of ideas. He wants to be a house designer and a hotel manager. He wants to drive a big rig and work on a construction site. He wants to be a mechanic and run a restaurant. 

Dream Big, John!!!

We can't wait to see what the future holds for you!!

We love you more every day!

Just Like Me

Wherever we go people stare at us.

We are a motley crew with our braces and canes and helmets.

People are forever wanting to pat John on the head, gasp at Mary's 'slam to the floor' seizures and jaw drop at Aaron's arms.

Sometimes comments will be made and questions asked. Why are your arms like that? Why does she wear a helmet? What happened to his legs?

We usually respond with grace, but it's not easy feeling like a constant circus act when we are out and about.

I feel for my sons who are at an age where they are much more self-conscious about their looks and people's reactions.

It's hard on them and there just isn't that much we can do to shield them from the constant stares and comments. 

It's never-ending and something they have to deal with day in and day out.

Except for the last few days.

For three days they got to be around other people just like them.

The annual Arthrogryposis convention.

It was our first time going and we were blessed beyond words.

Aaron could look around and find hundreds of other children and adults who were just like him. John was able to connect with others who were also, just like him.

And for a few days, we got to be out in public and know that the stares our way were stares of joy and excitement as we blended into a world where being different was okay. 

They made new friends and connected with old ones (a pictureful of Reece's Rainbow treasures). 

We found older men they could talk to about all the tricks and adaptation they make so they can live independently. 

We went to different sessions to learn and share and be encouraged. 

John was even able to connect with two friends from his old orphanage. How amazing was that?? 

We saw our doctors and enjoyed talking to them.

We even met a family from the same country as our children. When their son was born with arthrogryposis... THEY KEPT HIM. They refused to give him up. They ignored the doctors and nurses who told them he would be better off in an institution. THEY KEPT THEIR SON!!  HOW RARE IN THAT COUNTRY!! How rare and precious. I hugged her. I thanked them. I know where he would have ended up and it was pure joy to see him with his family. Surrounded by love. They have fought hard to provide for him and he is doing amazing! (Be Real shirt).

Like I said... we made new friends.... hmmmm…..

… although I'm not sure a friendship was formed for little girl... 

She had a rough three days. But we aren't going to think about that right now!

For Aaron and John - they made great memories and already are asking about next year. 

Because hanging with others "Just Like Me" is a rare and precious gift.

Defeated

I feel a bit defeated this morning.

In the last few days I have realized that I am a lousy communicator.

I realize this blog is about adoption and we are very very passionate about it, but Rob and I are also very passionate about history. And I have FAILED to communicate that passion.

When I was a child I hated history. I hated it. I thought it was the most boring subject in the world despite a mom and dad who loved history and who took us to every museum up and down the east coast. We lived in the D.C. area and were surrounded by museums and battlefields and historical sites and they drowned us in history. 

But school history was nothing like museum history and battlefields and historical sites. 

It was all about reading the textbook and answering questions and taking tests.

School history was U.S. history. Year after year. Again and again and again. 

Don't get me wrong. U.S. history is wonderful and fascinating but how many years in a row do you need to learn about the pilgrims and the Mayflower and the Revolutionary War? We rarely ever even got to the Civil War and I don't ever remember doing the World Wars. 

World history was scattershot until we got to that one year of World History in High school. I checked out after the first week. Hearing the teacher drone on and on just put me to sleep.

I hated history but I LOVED to read. I read anything you handed me. I devoured all the books in our family library, our school library, our church library, my friend's libraries, the town library. I loved when my mom went to thrift shops so I could buy books for cheap. 

I read everything and anything. My favorite - biographies and memoirs, books about the Holocaust and World War II, historical fiction, classics and books on psychology. 

MOST of the books I read were history-related. It was in those books where I developed a deep love of history as a story. But my reading was completely separate from the history I did in school.

School history was boring and something to be endured. The history in my books was real and alive and something to be devoured.

So how did a history-hating, book-loving mom of five end up co-writing seven history books???

How in the world did Rob and I end up owning a history and literature curriculum?

How in the world did I get where I am and how in the world have I neglected to explain fully explain our story and our passion??

I share my story at conventions whenever I can.

I'm not a big speaker. I don't draw the big crowds. We are lovers of history and passionate about our curriculum but LOUSY at advertisement and selling our books. We are pitiful about selling ourselves. We don't do book signings. We don't have our faces plastered on banners. We don't name drop.

We self-publish. We work out of our home. We juggle writing with being mom and dad to our five children. I field test all of our material at a local homeschooling co-op. Most of my homeschool families don't even realize the work we pour into the material their children are using.

Our time is limited. We are currently writing our eighth book. I am currently in Florida at a homeschool convention and Rob is writing and sole caretaker for all three kids. Mary's still on a seizure roller coaster which makes me a mess to think about being this far from her. 

But we are passionate about our work. I hated history for so long because the history I knew was separated from the stories I loved. 

When I was much younger and single and trying to decide the course of my life, I attended seminary. I was considering going on the mission field. I had a degree in nursing and teaching and was pursuing a masters in Christian Education. 

It was in seminary when my entire "I hate history" worldview changed. It was a professor of Old Testament who opened up an entirely different way of viewing history. An Old Testament class. How in the world? We studied Bible history and Ancient history in concert. It was mind-boggling, amazing, earth shattering for me. All of a sudden I began to see the Bible in an entirely different light. The stories I learned as a child became real against the backdrop of the ancient world. The ancient world was messy and gritty and filled with intrigue and horror and stories that made this book-lover happily satisfied.

I watched history unfold as we worked our way through the Old Testament. It didn't stop there. The New Testament class, church history, theology - all of it began to make sense as I studied it in context with the greater world. 

I began to realize that history was more than just memorizing names and dates and battles and taking tests. It was a woven story where, in the midst of the story, God was weaving HIS story. How priceless. Children, adults, everyone needed to see this. 

I left seminary and wanted to DO SOMETHING about what I had learned. 

But I had no outlet. 

Until I started homeschooling.

And we started using a little-known book plan called BiblioPlan.

It had a simple philosophy.

Line up history books with literature books.

Learn history in ORDER. From Ancients to Modern. Then cycle back again.

Study U.S. History along with World History.

Learn history through STORIES. 

Merge secular, Bible and church history together. 

Knock me off my feet.

Send me into book-loving orbit. 

I used it with my sons and then started teaching it at the co-op. I became passionate about it. I took that simple little book plan and started writing supplements, then simple history books. Rob got involved. We partnered with the owners. We wrote more. We began to realize the potential of what we had been given. Our simple history books became full blown textbooks. We eventually bought the company. 

Seven books later, 60+ products in our product line, sons who are actively involved in helping us, one part-time employee (WE ARE SO SMALL-TIME), three special needs children, another book on the way, more products coming out in the next year or so, revising, editing, writing, READING, researching, learning and growing.

All of that and people in my own world barely even know we exist.

I had a mom at our co-op this week tell me all about another curriculum (that happens to be one of our 'rivals') and I was jaw-dropped. She had no idea our material shared the same philosophy as that curriculum. And I teach her child in my history class!!

As I said.

I really feel defeated.

Both Rob and I write all the time when we are not juggling our kids and their special needs. 

We are all in when it comes to writing and caring for our kids and teaching and keeping our house from falling apart around us but we are LOUSY at promotion.

So here is my promotion....

ROB AND I OWN A COMPANY CALLED BIBLIOPLAN....

It's a Classical History and Literature Curriculum for grades K-12 with a fun Charlotte Mason flair.

It is mom-friendly, EASY TO USE, history rich, story rich, hands on fun, great for a family to do together (everyone studies the same time period but does age appropriate questions, maps and literature). 

Giants of the Faith Notebooking Series

We have written two levels of textbooks - one series for the older students (7-12) and one series (almost finished) for the younger students (K-7). 

We have maps and coloring books and timelines and a family guide that is loaded with ideas on how to link history with literature. 

We tell you what movies to watch to line up with the history. 

We line up some of the favorite spines from other curriculums (Story of the World, History of Us, Mystery of History etc.) so you can read those books along with our material. 

We give you great props for having family discussions. 

We give you all kinds of poems, verses, speeches etc, your child/ren can memorize. 

We line up all kinds of other material (audios, lapbooks, notebooking) to enhance what you are doing in history.

We provide writing ideas. 

High school students can get history and literature credit. They can also get Bible and Church history elective credits.

We weave God's story into history.

We have so many literature books lined up that we have an optional literature reading section because there are so many!

We do this all day every day.

So please - if you are homeschooling - at least go check us out.

GO NOW!

THANK YOU!!