Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Orphaned, Rejected and Alone

.....Millie's story is continued from HERE.....

This is Millie's story as I pieced it together from bits and pieces of different conversations I had with her.  I cherish every single fragment that she handed to me.
My dear sweet Millie was born somewhere near Strasburg, Pennsylvania in 1902.  

Her mother was unmarried, which meant that Millie was an illegitimate child born into a time and place where illegitimacy was particularly shameful.

Both Millie and her mother were misfits in a society that shunned people like them.

Although Millie's mother wasn't Amish, from what I understand, she lived and worked on an Amish farm.   I'm not sure what schooling Millie received there, but it must have been sketchy and poor.  Millie wasn't a quick study; she apparently struggled a good bit with reading, writing and arithmetic.  She told me often in her little, high-pitched voice that she just wasn't very smart.


Then tragedy struck: Millie's mother died, leaving poor Millie alone.  She had no family to call her own.

At the age of only about 10 or 12, Millie became a member of one of the most unwanted classes of people in the world: She wasn't just an orphan, she was an illegitimate, unskilled orphan.  

It seems that after Millie's mother died, the Amish family took Millie in for a time-- but not for long.  Millie soon became an unwanted burden to the family: She was a poor student who couldn't do enough to earn her keep, and she was an "English" girl who didn't fit into the Amish culture.  

So Millie's Amish farmers did what everyone else did with unwanted, burdensome people back then: They transferred their burden to the state.  Millie became a ward of the state of Pennsylvania; and, because she was an under-performing student, the state placed her in a mental institution.  

Around 1914, Millie went to live in an insane asylum.

From every angle, it looked like Millie's life was over.

She had no one to advocate for her release: with her mother gone, there was no one on earth who cared what happened to her. The only people on the outside who even knew that she was living in an insane asylum were the ones who had committed her there.

Millie faced what many, many other poor, destitute people faced during that sad time in our nation's history-- a life sentence in a mental institution.

********

I have some personal experience with such mental institutions: In 1984, while I was in college, I spent a summer working in a privately funded mental institution in New Jersey. This particular institution had been established in 1906, when the so-called "science" of eugenics was coming into vogue.

The founder of that institution, a renowned psychiatrist of his day, coined the word "moron" to describe people like Millie. This psychiatrist was a leader among those who believed that "morons" were unfit to be part of America's great society.  He advised locking them away so that they wouldn't taint the rest of the world.

At that institution, I helped care for dear, elderly men and women who had been committed for life at around the same time Millie was.  Most of them were there because, like Millie, they had been diagnosed with mental disabilities.  These diagnoses had condemned them to live their entire lives in isolation.

During the early 1900s, it was fairly common for families to get rid of burdensome relatives by dropping them off at mental institutions. Adult children committed their elderly, cantankerous parents. Parents committed their rebellious, out-of-control children, especially teenage girls who had shamed them by behaving promiscuously.

Governments also used such institutions to get rid of their troublesome citizens. Cities rounded up homeless "tramps," then locked them away in state institutions. Cities also institutionalized prostitutes. Several classes of people were particularly likely to end up in mental institutions: the orphans, the learning-disabled, the physically disabled, the mentally disabled and of course the mentally ill.  Institutionalizing the unwanted was a popular way of getting them off of the streets.  

Once a person had been committed to such an institution, his or her chances of leaving were slim at best.

Millie was one such person. The state committed Millie at around the age of 12, for two crimes: She was an unwanted, destitute orphan, and she was an under-performing student. The state declared Millie a moron, then locked her away.

Millie's future was over.

Orphaned, rejected and alone, she seemed destined to spend the rest of her life as an inmate in an insane asylum.


....to be continued....



Monday, February 13, 2012

She Stole My Heart

When I first met Millie, she was 88 years old.

It was love at first sight.


She stole my heart with her funny little hats, her old-fashioned clothes and her impish grin.
She lived in a tiny, run-down house on a small farm in southern Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.   

A little old widow living all by herself, except for her cats and her plants.

I met her while I was canvassing the neighborhood, inviting strangers to a week-long, county-wide church revival meeting.  She was one of the few who said that she would be happy to go.   She didn't drive, so she hadn't been able to get to church for years, and she missed it. 

I adopted her on sight.

For the next three years, as long as I lived in Pennsylvania, Millie sat next to me in church every Sunday.  Most of the time, she held my hand.  When I started dating Rob, he just moved into our pew with us.  Then I had two hands to hold.  

My adopted Grandmother.

She had no children of her own, but she had 5 step-grandchildren, 19 step-great-grandchildren and several step-great-great-grandchildren. Only a few of them ever took the time to visit her.

Whenever I visited her, we would always wander outside to check on the happenings in her garden. She loved growing things. She wasn't fussed about weeds, and she didn't care about having a pristine yard. Her pleasure came from seeing the spinach bursting out of the ground. Or from pointing out the squash and the watermelon. Or from watching her tomato vines sprawling over the garden soil. We waded through the crooked rows of her garden, her cats following us wherever we went. She'd pretend to be annoyed with her cats, but her reprimands didn't bother them in the least. They knew that her bark was much worse than her bite.

My sweet Millie. Eighty-eight years old when I met her.

She often remarked in her quavering, high-pitched voice that she was just "too old to be alive."

Oh sweet Millie, I'm so grateful that you were not too old to be alive.

Millie turned 90 on the day when Rob and I married.  She attended our wedding, and sat up front with our other grandmothers. Little Millie in her funny hat, wearing the grandmother corsage on our wedding day.  I still cry to remember her sitting there.  My adopted Grandmother.  We sang happy birthday to her at our reception.  From then on, we were always able to chart her age by our wedding anniversaries.



When we moved to Virginia, I wanted to take her with me.  I begged her to go.  She thought about it for a while, but her life was in her little house in Lancaster with her cats and garden.

I wept to leave her.

I drove up to visit her a few times, and she got to meet both Ben and Elijah.



She lived almost long enough to meet Aaron: When she finally died a couple of years ago, she was 107 years old.

ONE HUNDRED SEVEN.

My dear sweet Millie.

She stole my heart and I will never be the same.  I loved her.  My Millie.

She's been gone for a little over two years.  I miss her.  I rejoice in the fact that the Lord granted her long years, so that even though she was eighty-eight, I still had the privilege to sit by her side every Sunday for three years, holding her wrinkled little hand in mine.  I am grateful that she was not "too old to be alive" so that I could hear the story of her life.  

She only ever shared bits and pieces.  When we were rummaging through old boxes in her house, or searching her attic for some what-not that she couldn't find-- then she would share.  Bits and pieces, glimpses of a past life that was filled with pain and wonder.  

It was a surprising and very shocking story.  It was a story that bore witness to God's faithfulness toward one widowed old lady.


It's something that I want to share: the bits and pieces that I know of Millie's Story.

To be continued....



Saturday, February 11, 2012

Fortunately - Unfortunately

Last Monday Aaron and I made our weekly trek to Shriners.

Fortunately, we made it up there in record time!!

Unfortunately, I tried the blindfold trick on Aaron to get him to sleep in the van, but he wasn't buying it and spent most of the way up to Philly peeking out of the blindfold, so he could watch the cars and trucks on the highway.  Sigh!!

Fortunately, we got to see a couple of sweet girls while we waited our turn.


Unfortunately, I got in trouble when I snapped these pictures.  Does anyone else ever get in as much trouble as I do with their camera???  I mean really... It always tends to be ME that gets the wagging finger and the tongue lashing for my favorite hobby!!  

Fortunately, both moms just rolled their eyes and laughed while I was being fussed at for snapping pictures of their sweet ones.  I am such a renegade!


Unfortunately, the Friday before our appointment Aaron tripped over the threshold in our garage.  It was a hard fall.  



Double unfortunately, it broke his cast in two.


Triple unfortunately - it meant that EVERYTHING we had been doing so far to get Aaron's hand up to his mouth was lost.  



Fortunately......Aaron's joyful spirit was not quenched by the bad news.



Unfortunately, up until this point Dr. Z hadn't been putting an extra layer of fiberglass on Aaron's cast so that it wouldn't be so heavy.  

Fortunately, he will be doing that from now on.  Hopefully the extra layer will protect the cast against any further breaks.

Fortunately, Aaron got to spend time in one of his favorite part of Shriners!


The train table in the therapy department.


Fortunately we were in and out pretty fast on Monday.  


Even so, doesn't this little guy look a bit ragged out?



He was.


Unfortunately, he fell asleep about 30 minutes before the van decided that it needed gas and our drivers decided it was time for lunch.  

The little man's nap didn't last very long.

Fortunately, we didn't get caught in any traffic and were home in time for supper!!

Double fortunately - God is Forever Good!!

P.S. We drag back up there on Monday again... the weekly saga continues....










Friday, February 10, 2012

Fatherless Friday


I'm re-posting my Fatherless Friday kids from last week.

It isn't a cheat.

These kids need to be seen over and over and over again.

They are desperate to be seen.



After posting about Igor last week his link went down.  Break my heart!!  He became a TRUE Lost Boy.  He wasn't where he was supposed to be.  This morning... He is again found.  They know where he is.  I weep to type those words.  Please pray.  Please pray for Igor.  Pray.  Please donate to his fund.  God is moving for Igor.  Please Pray!!



Laurel is desperate, people.  The months are literally ticking away for her.  Please put her picture out there over and over and over again.  Help her find a family!!  WILL YOU BE HER FAMILY!! Oh she is laying heavy on my heart.  Will you please donate to her fund???  If you can't adopt her will you help to pave the path for someone else??  Please let us not make money stand in the way for this child to find a family.



Everything I am hearing about Alexis makes me want to go get her myself.  (No we do not qualify)!!  How in the world can this sweet one still be over there???  She is smart and even-tempered and so desiring of a family.   



I was directed to a post today about sweet Victoria and a LINK with even more pictures of her.

I love her.

How can I not??  She and Igor are in the SAME PLACE.  Please.


 

Where is her Mama??  How much longer must she wait?



Tyler and Emmitt...Two amazing boys who both desperately need a family. Tyler is in the same place as Alexis.  If they are in the same place they can be adopted together!!



 




And a few add on babes who break my heart daily!!

BRENT

He is also in the same place as Victoria and Igor.  He has been there almost a year now.





HANSON

Hanson is in a laying down room in Aaron's old institute.    The picture below was when he was a the baby house.





SPENCER

Oh my sweet Spencer.  So many have asked and considered but so far no one has stepped forward.  So he sits and waits.


They ALL need families.  Won't you pray with me?  Will you give?  Will you consider adopting one or two of these precious treasures???



Thursday, February 9, 2012

Spinning

I'm spinning.

I have much on my heart.

Too much on my mind.

I don't know which way to go.

I have unwritten blog posts in draft mode and even more in my head.

I am a jumbled mess.

Struggling with what to say and how to say it.  The need is so great.  In so many areas. 

Praying that clarity will come.

Praying for the words to convey.

Praying that God will take my jumbled heart and direct me in His Way and not mine.

Praying.


Until then....

Here are a few people whose blogs are worth checking out....

This is Jane's blog.  She is doing what I had the privilege of doing a number of years ago in India.  She is crossing the ocean with a friend to help her bring her treasure home.  When you aren't adopting and are a fellow traveler.... you are able to go to some places that the families who are adopting just don't have the energy or time to do.  When I was in India I was able to take a couple of days while my friend chased papers and go visit our Compassion International son.  THAT WAS AMAZING.  I was also able to visit a ministry for abused women in India.  THAT WAS ALSO AMAZING.  God opened my eyes up in India and I have never been the same.  Jane is not only going to see the orphanage where her friend's child is located but she is also going to be able to visit another one where a number of the Reece's Rainbow children are living.  It is a remote place and the need there is great.  Please go check out Jane's blog and consider making a donation so that she can take some much-needed supplies (a week's worth of diapers) and some musical instruments to the children at that orphanage.  Please!!

My friend Adeye has filled her blog with links to 99 children who have the most desperate need for families right now.  I love Adeye and her heart.  Please go over to that blog and re-post it so that the kids on there get as much coverage as they can get.  MANY MANY MANY of those kids have been on this blog over the last weeks, months and years.  Please get their pictures out!!  They are desperate to be seen!!! 










Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Chaos to Order

We are using Math U See for Aaron's math studies. 

Math-U-See

He absolutely loves it.  It is very hands-on, and it teaches math in a slow but steady way that allows him to grasp his math concepts.  

We are using Sing, Spell, Read and Write for Aaron's reading.

Sing, Spell, Read & Write ©2004


Again, he loves it.  It, too, is very hands-on.  It, too, teaches one thing at a time, constantly building on the concepts that Aaron's already learned.

Both Math and Reading must be taught in order.

You don't ask kindergartners to solve Algebra problems, or expect a child who hardly knows her alphabet to read War and Peace.

You start them at the beginning.

Just about everyone who is reading this post would almost certainly agree with me.

Why, then, do we treat history differently?


Why do schools and homeschooling curriculums jump kids all over the place when they're teaching them history?


Why?

This teaching strategy is CHAOTIC.  And quite frankly, kids don't get it.  

They may remember certain events from history. They may be able to recall certain dates in order to pass their tests. They may even be straight-A students in their social studies or history classes.  But in truth, very few of them actually GET very much of what they're studying.  

In the schools where I grew up, our history curriculum was a hodgepodge.  One year we studied about U.S. history, and then the next we jumped over to Ancient History.  Then back for more U.S. history, and then maybe we jumped over to Asia for a unit or two.  I remember a few whatnots from Africa and other exotic cultures, with perhaps a bit of Geography mixed in; but it was all a hodgepodge.  The vast majority of the time we studied U.S. History but never in the context of World History.  I memorized dates, took tests and never learned to love my history classes.  Ever.

Instead, I spent my spare time reading books.  Most of my favorites were history-related.  I read biographies and autobiographies.  I read historical fiction. I read some classics.  I read some memoirs.  I read dozens of books about World War II and the Holocaust.  I read and I read.

When I reached high school, I enrolled in a World History class for the first time. 

This class was my first introduction to the idea of studying the events of history in the order in which they happened.  It was first time in my life when one of my courses actually followed the Queen of Hearts' droll advice: "Begin at the beginning. Proceed until you come to the end; then Stop."

But it was too late for me.  By that time, I hated school.  History was a jumbled mess in my mind, and I suffered through the class showing as little interest as possible.  

How utterly sad.

I KNOW that I am not the only person who has experienced this.  I have spoken to too many people who have shared my experience.

This is why I tend to be very very passionate about teaching kids history in order, just as we teach math and reading in order.   

Not just once.  This is what is so important: They need to see history unfold OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Once is not enough.

Most children will only begin to see the patterns in history when they hear the stories in order more than once.  They need to see kingdoms rise and fall over and over again, and they need to understand WHY it's all happening.  They need to see God's story and the stories of His people woven into the pages of their history books.  They need to see the seeds of philosophies like communism and fascism planted before they can understand how they grew and bore fruit.  They need to understand the value of our United States Constitution over and against those philosophies. They need to watch the world map change and see geography unfolding in the same way that history unfolds.   

They need to see all of these things over and over again.  They need to see them presented in a way that teaches them to love history, and creates a hunger for more understanding.

BiblioPlan is one way to teach history in order.  There are numerous other programs also.  If you are not using the classical approach consider it.  If you have questions or need some advice on homeschooling - please feel free to FB friend me or e-mail - covenantb@yahoo.com.

I'd love to chat.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Zumorrow

Aaron has his own unique version of  "Tomorrow," the song from the hit musical Annie. Aaron's version isn't a song; it's not even a line from a song. It's just a simple statement of Aaron's undying optimism:

"Zumorrow will be better."



Whenever Aaron's disappointed because he's failed at something or something hasn't gone his way, he brings out his special version of "Tomorrow":

"Zumorrow, we'll try again.  Zumorrow will be better."

Things will always be better Zumorrow.



How does a child live in hell for an entire year, yet still retain an undying faith that says "Zumorrow" will always be better?

How?



Only by God's Grace.

Aaron's optimism comes from God's unfailing grace and love for one little boy. Somehow, God wrapped a barrier of protection around our son's heart and mind during his time in the Lost Boys' world.  Because of God's protection, Aaron never lost his optimistic spirit, his ready smile,or his unwavering faith that "Zumorrow" will always be better.


Oh, the lessons we have learned from our "Zumorrow" son. Aaron has taught us that God can plant Zumorrow optimism in His children's hearts. He has taught us that God can also protect our hearts from attitudes of defeatism, disillusionment and depression.


Every day, we watch our son approach life with a joy and love that seems to burst from deep inside him, no matter what challenges and setbacks he may face.  Despite everything.  What an unbelievable privilege to experience God's grace every time we see our son look toward zumorrow.


Zumorrow.



It will always be better.

Take it from one little former Lost Boy who knows. 





Saturday, February 4, 2012

The Doctor is Where???

Last Monday Aaron and I dragged ourselves out of bed at 2:00 am for our weekly trip to the Shriners Hospital in Philly...

We ate breakfast when we arrived and then headed to the waiting room.

Aaron zombied himself in front of the TV (we don't have cable so Aaron has to get his cartoon fix at the Shriner's hospital).


I enjoyed chatting with several Moms with their sweet babes....
(these pictures were taken a few weeks ago but they are on the same weekly schedule we are so we get to chat every week)

Aren't these the cutest kids in the world???

Ariana 



Landri


I love getting to know the other AMC parents and kids!!!

So there I was... waiting for Aaron to be called back to see Dr. Z.

The nurse had already called another little one back who was seeing Dr. Z so I was just waiting for them to call Aaron back.  She came out to tell me Aaron was next.

Since Dr. Z wasn't on the floor, she then called him on his cell phone to let him know that his patients were on the floor and waiting for him to arrive.

HE WAS IN BELGIUM

BELGIUM


At a Conference.

He was NOT in the hospital.  Not in the country.  He was far far far away across the ocean.

We traveled 6 hours to discover that our doctor was in Belgium.

No I did not throw a fit.  I actually laughed.  It was honestly funny.  I mean BELGIUM???



Of course the reality of a wasted trip was NOT lost on me.



12 hours in a Shriners Van is not my definition of fun.

But we have been given SO MUCH from Shriners.  They have taken care of Aaron is such an amazing way this past year.... We just can't get too upset over a TINY blooper like not realizing that the doctor is in Belgium!!

Of course we are definitely hoping that it will be a one-time incident... I mean... how many times do you go to Conferences in Belgium???

The intern tried to step into Dr. Z's shoes.



And though he was as nice as could be and did his very best...


Dr. Z IS Dr. Z!!

We missed him.

We go back up on Monday.  

Yes...we have double...triple...quadruple checked.  

Dr. Z WILL be in the building!!

Good thing... Aaron fell yesterday and busted his cast apart.

Sigh.






















Friday, February 3, 2012

Fatherless Friday


Writing this post today is hard.  The kids featured on this page break my heart each time I see them.  They are desperately in need of families.  All of them have physical handicaps.  All of them remind me over and over and over again of Aaron.  Kids locked away from society because their bodies are less than 'perfect'.

Many of these precious ones were on Reece's Rainbow two years ago when we first committed to Aaron.  To see their faces STILL HERE just makes me sick on my stomach.

How can I begin to convey in this post the desperate need these kids have?  They are trapped.  They are destined to spend the REST OF THEIR LIVES locked away as if they have committed a crime against society.  

Please.  

Look at these kids.



Igor - sweet precious Igor is only two months younger than Aaron.  He has been on Reece's Rainbow for FOREVER!  He has arthrogryposis just like Aaron.  He makes me weep.  All the other Reece's Rainbow babes with arthrogryposis who are the same age as Igor have been adopted.  Igor was left behind.  Dear Lord.  When I go to Shriners and see Madeline and Ben and Sophia and Gerri and Victoria and Evan and all the other adopted treasures and I think about Igor sitting in a mental institute.  It is more than I can bear.  He is their age.  He should be in the waiting room with his Mama.  He should be cared for by the doctors there.  He has such amazing potential.  
Please  - someone out there go get him. 



Will you PLEASE read Laurel's description???

Laurel has arthrogryposis — and look at that beautiful smile!  
She's already 15 years old, and has less than 6 months (from January 2012) to be adopted, or she loses all hope for a future.
Laurel is blessed to be in a very good older child orphanage for those with mostly physical disabilities.  Her orphanage has been supported by many humanitarian aid groups, and offers child sponsorship programs and trips for these children.  Laurel does face transfer to an adult mental institution SOON, and at 16 she will no longer legally be able to be adopted at all. 


An adult mental institute?  Loses all hope for a family in just a few short months??? PEOPLE WE NEED TO BE SHOUTING OUT LOUD FOR THIS GIRL!!  She desperately needs a family NOW!!



A family is over there RIGHT NOW and has been able to see and interact with Alexis.  Please click on her link and read what this family has to say about Alexis.  She is precious.  Sweet.  Gentle - spirited.  She is smart and engaging.  Though she is 10 she is small for her age.  Goodness me she is a pretty little girl.  She too has arthrogryposis but from everything I have read about her - she does NOT let it stop her.  She wants a family.  She desperately wants a family.  



About a month ago a dear RR friend sent me these pictures.  Rob and I looked at them and just broke down.  I have seen Victoria for years but had never really SEEN her until we received the pictures.  


Even without hair... She is beautiful...

Look at her eyes... Look at her smile!! 

 

Where is her Mama??  How much longer must she wait?


Victoria has arthrogryposis also.  She seems to only be affected in her legs. She is only two years older than Aaron.  She was transferred a long long time ago and is again facing a lifetime behind bars.  Can you imagine? 


 

Tyler is another one who has been seen by a family adopting from his institute.  They were blown away by this sweet boy.  

This is from his description that they wrote JUST THIS WEEK:

 "We have really enjoyed getting to know Tyler.  He is such an incredible kid!  You just have no idea how impressed we are with him.  He is very neat and organized, and takes good care of his things.  I thought at first he was quite serious, because when I met him, he was posing for his photograph.  Now, we've been able to chat with him using an interpreter.  He LOVES to read- carries a book with him and uses the library here a lot.  His favorite thing are fiction stories.  Here, they have a lot of fairy tales, and he enjoys those, but I can so easily see him flying through any of the popular Christian fiction series for boys.  He's very smart, and everyone here really likes him.  We've seen him with the younger kids, they all treat him like a big brother and he is so kind and gentle with them.   Like the others we've met here, he seems very emotionally healthy- it's just his legs that aren't working, not his heart, mind and soul.  He would just thrive in a family!  The hardest part about today came at the end.  He asked how long it will be before his family comes to get him from America.  I don't know what to say- he's been listed for nearly a year, and no one has asked about him.  He's so hopeful and trusting that he has a family and he doesn't have much time left.  I don't know why he has gotten passed over- he'd be an amazing son!"




Emmitt is the same age as my son Elijah.  I just could not imagine Elijah being contained in a bed day after day after day.  Please.  This boy has been waiting for far too long for a family.

 " Emmitt has a severe deformity of his legs.  He cannot walk at all.  He is very friendly, funny, and talkative. He desperately seeks out attention.  He was talking to my husband, and holding Zack's hand, which he then put on top of his head for Zack to rub his hair.  He is extremely intelligent, and just precious!  I brought him paper and crayons, and he drew me a flower :) "