Last night I was making dinner and dancing with my youngest. Anyone looking in our window would have thought I had lost it. Two nutty people in the kitchen, laughing and singing. "Here We Go Looby Loo." Dancing and singing in the kitchen. When Elijah walked in we included him in our party. He thought we were a bit nuts with our turning and shaking. No pictures to share except in my head, as I consider our dance.
There is so much that Aaron can't do. So much. He wanted to help me put the groceries away last night but couldn't get the deli meat into the refrigerator. His fingers can't grasp the package and his arms can't lift anything heavier than a plastic bag. He tried. Over and over again he tried to get that deli meat on a shelf. Finally he left it. On the floor of the fridge. Helpless.
It grieves me. So much lost for him. Six years without help hurt him. Profoundly hurt him. He has so much therapy to face just to master the skill of lifting a bag of deli meat into the fridge. It overwhelms me sometimes. It's so easy to focus on all the things my son can't do. The list is endless.
But he can dance. He can laugh. He is learning to love. For now, that is my focus. The rest - We'll just entrust that to God.
I love this "the rest we'll entrust to God". Beautifully written!!
ReplyDeleteThat is a favorite song at our house, too. Onni has this hysterical way of going falsetto on the Lou-OO.Very funny!
ReplyDeleteIt must be hard, but I can't help but be amazed at all the things Aaron CAN do!
Yes, there is so much more he can do. He can love, and he can accept love! Considering all Aaron has been through, the fact he can do those two things is the biggest of all! He has to be able to do those things in order to love God, and know that God loves him!
ReplyDeleteHang in there Julia. You don't see it as much as we do because you are there with him everyday, but Aaron has come SO far in such a short time. He tried! He couldn't quite accomplish it, but he tried!! That is HUGE!! He'll do it someday, and even if he doesn't, it's ok because he is HOME, and he is loved. Like you said, "the rest we'll entrust to God". He will not fail you or Aaron. He is home, and he is loved(and so are you!)!
ReplyDeletehow did your visit to philly go? what did you learn there? Sophie is also very weak in the arms but she can hold a toy and a pencil and write her name! for now thats enough. given the chance to do things he will learn how. maybe it wont be with his hands like your average joe, but he will find a will and a way. I promise.
ReplyDeleteIt's awesome to know that he will have SO many opportunities he never had before. You're making up for lost time here, that I know, but I can't wait to see him dance with you!
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