Friday, March 27, 2015

Ready to Take a Chance Again

We arrived in region via train late on Tuesday, the same day we had our DAP appointment. After two quick briefings the next morning, we finally met the little girl we've been dying to meet for months.

Harper turns out to be everything we thought she'd be-- beautiful, smart and absolutely adorable.

Her command of her native language is prodigious, although she isn't reading yet. This puts us on awkward ground with her, as we know so little of her language.

We'd love to share on this blog every possible detail of Harper's adoption, just as we did with Aaron's.

Unfortunately, Harper's adoption isn't following the fairy tale script we'd hoped it would. Instead of fighting the system, this time we find ourselves fighting for the heart of a frightened little girl.

It so happens that Harper lives in a fine orphanage, one of the best in the country. Having been kicked around from place to place for most of her life, she is understandably reluctant to leave this good place, the first safe haven she's ever found. On the train ride down here, we received this unsettling news: that no matter who or what her prospective parents might be, Harper is very reluctant to leave this orphanage.

Unfortunately, the laws of this country leave this monumental decision in the hands of children even as young as Harper, who is just 7. If she is to come home with us, then she must say "yes" in the presence of a court social worker and then later a judge.

It therefore becomes our task to win her over-- to "buy her love," as our facilitator has told us over and over.

Fortunately, Harper's caretakers and friends are all on our side. They understand what Harper does not-- that no matter how much she likes her orphanage, she can no longer stay here after she comes of age. The circumstances of her birth and health mean that she has no future in this country, barring some miracle.

With God's blessing, we still hope to be that miracle. However, we understand that calculations of future prospects mean little to a frightened 7-year-old. What matters to her are feelings, and all of hers are telling her not to risk leaving the one safe haven she's known.

So for now, we are visiting Harper as much as we're allowed, praying for her, and doing all we can to win her trust. With so many people working to convince her, we have every reason to hope that she will eventually say yes. We ask all of you to pray with us, and for us, that Harper will say yes.

In light of all that's going on, we won't be able to share much about Harper until and unless she finally says yes. All the philosophical musings Julia hoped to share, and all the smart-aleck sidebars Rob hoped to add, just don't flow off the pen when one is in the fight of one's life. While this season lasts, we must focus all our energies on the job we came to do.



  1. I can uderstand her position... I hope the presence of aaron will be a big plus !
    I am praying... and will be praying...

    1. I was thinking the same thing, I hope Aaron being there helps!

  2. I have no doubt that you will win her over! What a blessing to have Aaron and those adorable dimples with you……even at 7, how could she NOT want to follow her big brother and that winning smile HOME. Sending lots of prayers for each of you!!

  3. Praying! Thank you for sharing so that we can pray!

  4. Such a scary decision for a little girl who had seen more loss and trauma than most of us see in a lifetime. Praying for you all. Thank goodness you brought Aaron. He might be the best testimony to convince her.

  5. Hang in there!!! Praying for you all
    -rachel Hagemeyer

  6. Praying hard. The Lord can move her heart.

  7. Oh, praying. And sending such warmth and courage to all.

  8. Praying for Harper to choose life as your dear daughter. That's such a burden to place on little ones who have little or no knowledge of what life could be like in a loving family. Harper sounds like a very bright and articulate little girl. Perhaps her obvious intelligence will help her understand her choice more fully, and she will make the courageous - and right - choice. It's good to learn that her caregivers are so supportive of adoption and are encouraging her, and having Aaron on site should also be very helpful.

    Best wishes to everyone - prayers for you are being sent.

    Susan in Kentucky
    Cousin to 2 from Harper's country

  9. Write your journey anyway if you find it helps but post it later. Or key moments right after I preserve the blessed memories and emotions.

    Praying for strength for you all.

  10. Praying for your dear Harper. Such a daunting decision for one her age. Thankful for the time Rob, Julia and Aaron will be spending with Harper. Praying for all of you!

    May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

  11. Praying praying praying. This little girl is so loved, and I pray she realizes that and feels safe with you. I pray she will find Aaron to be a deal friend and that will encourage her choice. I pray her caretakers at the orphanage will help her understand this is what's best.

  12. Praying. How long do you have before it is too late?

  13. Praying that God moves this little girl's heart & gives her the strength to overcome her fear. Also praying for strength for you, Rob & Aaron--she so needs you as her family!!

  14. I'm sending caring your way, and prayers to the Lord for Harper's heart to learn that you are safety and love and home. This is so hard to hear, knowing how ready your family is to continue to love her. Hoping and praying... samm

  15. I'm praying for her and for you all. I hope that the love that you carry, from when He first loved us, begins to heal her terrified heart.

  16. I dreamed of your family last night! I am praying that Harper will choose to go with you, and that God will care for all of your hearts!

  17. On my knees with you.

    Love from Canada,

    T. Ellis

  18. I've been trying to minimize my online time throughout Lent, but am so glad that I checked in here this evening and see that you are in-country now. I didn't realize that Harper is so young, what an enormous decision to have to make at such a tender age. Praying that your love for her and the encouragement from her caretakers will help her overcome her fear, that she will get to realize the Lord's plans for her, "...a future full of hope." Will pray hard for all of you.

  19. God will change her heart. Praying for all of you.


Loving words from kind people make our hearts glad!