Loving Like God

I woke up early this morning to compose this blogpost. I couldn't get the words out. I stared at a blank screen and then gave up.  Instead I went to the Reece's Rainbow website and stared at the faces of the little ones sitting in a particular orphanage in a particular country. 

I struggled all morning with what to write. 

The words just would not come.

We went to church this morning and heard a sermon on Love.

Love.

Love that begins and ends with God.

Love that calls us to have our hearts broken by the things that break God's heart.

What happens to these children breaks God's heart.

It does.

And it breaks my heart.

I can't look at those faces without breaking down. 

My friend Stephanie adopted her two boys from this orphanage.  When she came out she committed herself to doing whatever she could to advocate for those she left behind. 

She made a hard decision.  She couldn't yell for them all.  She had to pick one - the neediest - the one who was in the worst situation. 

She chose Tori.

She chose Tori because Tori was the closest to transfer.  It was a good choice because Tori WAS transferred in the midst of our advocating for her.  She hollered - we hollered - other people hollered - the money was raised and God moved in the hearts of the Burman family.  They are there.  Rescuing both Tori and Carrington.  It was a God-ordained choice. 

But it hurt my dear friend because she LOVED Masha. 

Tiny precious Masha.

 Stephanie fell in love with her. 

She has shared over and over and over again to me how hard it was to advocate for one child over another.  If she could, she would have moved heaven and earth to go back and get Masha out.  She couldn't and now, in a few days, Masha will be where Tori is.

Transferred.

Just like Eddie:

Transferred.

It is hard.  It is heartbreaking.  Loving like God loves breaks our hearts. 

Over and over and over again.

And here is the hardest part - the part where I just don't even know how to pray...

If the Burman's are refused tomorrow (actually while we are sleeping tonight) - if the director closes the door... then the door closes on all these children.

 All the little ones who are not adopted before transfer will lose their chances. 

This meeting tomorrow affects so many.

It affects Shea....He has a family who is desperately working to go get him - he too will be lost if transferred.  The ONLY reason he has been saved from transfer is that he has casts on his legs.  Saved by casts. 

His parents are praying their hearts out. 

There are others - more stories. 

Each face - each child - precious.  Worth saving.

They shouldn't have to spend the rest of their lives shut away.

This morning as I struggled with how to put all of this into words I was overwhelmed.

I am still overwhelmed.

But I serve a Living God who is NOT overwhelmed. 

So I am praying today.  Tonight.  Praying for one family who is facing a mighty big mountain.  Praying that they will have courage and calmness as they walk into territory that the darkness has held for so long.  Praying that the words they convey will be enough. 

Please join me.  These kids - the Burmans - they need all the prayers we can muster!