Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Into the Darkness

It is a surreal week for us. 

Back in March, Rob and the boys committed to being in a musical - Suessical.  Rob was asked to be Horton and the boys were cast as the Wickersham brothers.  I do the backstage managing.  Unfortunately none of these roles are easily replaced.  There are no understudies.


So here we are - in the midst of loss - going to practice each night - because the shows must go on and opening night is Friday night.  We are literally going through the motions.  All of us in shock and weary to the bone.  Yet life goes on.  Faithfully doing what we committed to doing.  It is a strange, sad, unreal week. 

And on top of our grief here and the chaos of our schedule, across the globe a little boy is going to have his life completely changed tomorrow and I am breaking down at the thought.  I can't get my head and heart around what is happening over there.

Brady - my precious Brady.

His family is meeting him tomorrow.

Dear Lord.

The Hartmans stepped out in faith last November after we came out yelling at the top of our lungs and after Brady's picture and story spread across the internet. 

And they are meeting him. TOMORROW.

For the first time in his life, when he reaches his arms up to be held, he will have a MOMMY to reach back. 

A year ago he was transferred to the place of no return. 

No one had ever been adopted out of that place. 

A village out in the middle of nowhere. 

Brady stood NO CHANCE of ever ever ever leaving.


God made the way.  He gets all the glory.  Our son is out and now Brady follows.


Please understand.  The battle has not been won.

When Rob's dad died on Sunday, the timing of his death knocked us off our feet on many many levels.   I had planned on blogging about Brady on Monday and every day this week.  I had planned on raising up prayer support with a vengeance.  The Hartmans are going into the darkness.  A little light has been shed there because of our adoption.  But not enough.  Not enough.  It is a bleak and dreary place.  

There is so much I need to share.

There is so much that I have held off saying.

Waiting for this week.  Waiting to call the church to prayer. 

The timing is hard.  My heart is torn.

Despite our loss and grief this week - I wrote the Hartman's on Monday and promised her that she would NOT be abandoned.  What they are doing is too important - too precious to set aside.

So I am asking.  From the depths of my heart.  Please pray for the Hartmans.  Please pray for Brady (Judd).  Please pray. 

Please let the Hartmans know you are praying for them.   Their blog is HERE.  This morning on Melanie's post she indicated that at their SDA meeting this morning they saw a picture of Brady that was taken in September.  SEPTEMBER.  That was PRECIOUS news to us.  We begged.  We pleaded.  We asked over and over for the director to keep Brady and Heath available for adoption. 


I cannot begin to express how much that news means to us.  It is profound.  Our last day at the institute - Aaron's Gotcha Day - was hard.  Unbelievably hard.  It is a story I have yet to share.  One of those raw, painful memories that causes deep grief to remember.  We look back upon that day with much bitterness of spirit.  

Aaron was the first child adopted out of that institute and they didn't want to let him go.  Emotions were high.  The director was upset and we were caught in a storm on that day that hurt deep.  For four hours we waited in chaos and confusion.  One of these days I will share our agony as we sat on a bench outside the director's office on Aaron's Gotcha Day.  One of these days. 

Today - I share this:  The director hated cameras.  She hated that we took pictures.  Yet in the end, she let us take a picture of her with Aaron.

And in the end, after we walked out of that institute with our son, she got a camera and she took Brady's picture.  SHE TOOK HIS PICTURE. 

Yesterday, at the SDA meeting, the Hartmans saw THAT PICTURE.

Be still my soul.

To GOD be the GLORY!

Tomorrow she meets the Hartman family.  Another crazy family wanting one of HER boys.  She doesn't understand.  It scares her.  But they have a gift for her from us.  Tomorrow she gets to see OUR SON in pictures.  Happy. Healthy.  She will see his FLAT FEET.  She will see pictures of him eating with a utensil.  She will see pictures of him with his brothers.  

She will see THERE IS HOPE.  She will see that we kept OUR promise.  We told her we would find Brady and Heath families. 

Brady has one.

Heath still needs one.

PLEASE PRAY.  Please lift up the Hartmans in prayer.  The coming days and weeks will be HARD on them.  They left their children at home for an indefinite period of time.  They are going to a village that is far different from anything they have ever encountered before.  It is lonely there.  It is confusing and difficult.  There are many many unknowns.  They have not raised all the funds they need for this adoption and it weighs heavy on their hearts.  They need prayers.  They need support.  They need to know that we are behind them. 

Please pray church.


  1. Sometimes there are no words. Sometimes there are only repeated words because you can't put into words how you (yes, you Julia) are touching and changing the lives of children, while yet you are struggling with an unexpected death of a loved one. Thank you for your sharing, advocating, and persevering when you don't feel like it. May God be with your family this week and in the weeks to come.

    Stephanie Lynch

  2. Thank you Julia, for the reminder about the Hartman's and the need for us to pray. As I pray for them, I will also lift up your family at this difficult time.

  3. Julia - I'm so very, very sorry for your loss of Rob's dad. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you now.

    That is truly amazing news about the director keeping her promise though! Praise God! I'm praying for the Hartmans too!

  4. I saw a link to this post on Facebook. I'm PRAYING! (And maybe I'm pretty close to them?)

  5. There is always hope with Jesus on our side. He is that Light that overcomes the darkness. May the Hartman's bright light for Him shine brightly. Praying earnestly for them and Brady. Praying for the director's salvation. Matthew 5:16, Acts 26:18
    Continuing to pray for your family Julia.

  6. Oh today's post brings tears to my eyes. I can not imagine the whirlwind that you are going through. So many directions your heart is tugged at. I have been following the Hartmans story and have fully supported them they are amazing people. I cried reading your story about your son and about Brady, and Heath. There seems to be so much that you saw and I can only imagine what you are feeling again as they go through this process. We will continue to keep everyone in prayer. I thank God for your heart and for who you both are in being obedient children!

  7. Praying for the Hartmans, and praying for you and your family, too...I am in awe of your strength and determination, especially during such a time of unexpected loss and great sadness, and am in awe of seeing God's hand move upon the heart of the director. It's clear she has a kind heart and a conscience, but has been fearful and has lacked knowledge. I think seeing the photos and hearing about Aaron's great progress will convince her that the children under her supervision are worthy, are wanted and have great potential.

    Blessings to you...

    Susan in Ky
    Cousin to 2 from U.

  8. Wow - what a story! Praying for all involved!

  9. God bless your efforts....

    Praying for the Hartmans here!


  10. On our knees in prayer!

    Brooke Annessa

  11. Julia, I can only imagine what all you are going through right now . . . and don't worry . . . even though we are busy rescueing our own little gal . . . we have not forgotten Brady. As we head that direction on Saturday we will get back in internet contact as soon as possible to check on their unfolding story. God bless you in these strange and crazy days . . .and good for you for sending pictures of Aaron. I truly believe that photos and contact sent freely and willingly on the part of parents is a huge key to changing minds and hearts. We continue (even over 5 years later) to make sure photos and notes go to Kristina's orphanage. We WANT THEM TO KNOW SHE IS THRIVING and that she is DEARLY LOVED!! That the child who was destinined for a mental institution with NO HOPE OF RETURN--NO CHANCE OF ADOPTION--the child who was deemed "an imbecile" is bright, happy and doing 4th grade work with no special accomodations! ;-) To God be the Glory . . . Thank you again for all you have done to help . . .

  12. Oh, Julia. Really? They couldn't just cancel the play? It seems too crazy that you and your family have to be dealing with acting and directing in the midst of your grief. May God bless your perseverance and faithfulness. And wow, Brady's family is meeting him tomorrow?! What an amazing story about the photo. We will be praying for you and for them. What a week...

  13. Julia - let's try and start an all out campaign for Heath. He is heavy heavy heavy on my heart. The older child grant makes it difficult to raise money just for him - any suggestion? PM me on FB and let's brainstorm, pray and really seek this out. Your Brady, and my little Brian have hope - let's see about bringing hope to Heath.

  14. Praying for your family in your grief. Praying for the Hartmans and Brady.

  15. I WILL be praying for the Hartman's and for your families healing. You are all heroes in my book. I have to tell you that I found your sight because of 1 Choice 4 Quilting and the addition you made to her giveaway. Thank you for doing that. Your jewelry is beautiful.
    Beyond that, for 6 1/2 years my family did "bridge care" foster care, for 49 infants that were to be placed for adoption. These were all domestice adoptions, but through meeting these wonderful heroes... birth parents and adoptive parents.... I heard their stories of the journey that brought them to my living room. Some had already done international adoption, some special needs, but all had heart wrenching stories. I LOVE how you are giving to the adoption cause through your "chosen" necklaces, and I am going to send your webpage to all of the adoptive parents I still stay in contact with, so hopefully they can support your cause.
    I no longer do the bridge care, which breaks my heart. I have MS, and no longer have the physical ability to care for these precious babies. What I am doing right now though, is starting a ministry to give diaper bags filled with the necessary items to get a newborn in need/crisis through the first few days, until they can get to another agency/ministry who can help then further. I love to sew and know others who also do. We are busy making diaper bags, burp cloths, blankets, and shopping clearance racks and rummage sales for clothes. In the fall, I am going to be having a community wide Baby shower to kick off the ministry and hopefully gather as many diapers, wipes, bottles, pacifiers, etc to fill these diaper bags. I WILL be praying for you. If you have the time or feel led, please pray for this ministry. Welcome Little Ones Ministry.

    Blessings to you in all you do.


Loving words from kind people make our hearts glad!