All I Want

I turn 50 this week.

50.

It didn't bother me to turn 40 or 30 or 20.  I took all of those birthdays in stride.

But 50 bothers me.

I'm feeling old.

Last year for my birthday I had people donate to a whole host of families who were adopting and then tell me so that I could celebrate....  It it interesting to look back and see what happened to all those kids and families.  Almost all of those precious treasures are home with their families.  PRAISE THE LORD!!  Sadly, one of them is still stuck across the ocean because laws changed and she wasn't on the new special needs list.  Dear Lord.

Honestly - this year - All I want for my birthday is for Laurel to have a family.



My heart caved in a bit on Monday when I received the news that Harmony is no longer available for adoption.  Her country took her off the registers because of her age.  Her only chance for adoption is for a domestic adoption.  Dear Lord. I know that in her country they take good care of their older kids.  She isn't destined for a mental institute like Aaron's.  And in that I have some peace.  But still.  We fought hard for her.  Into the Lord's hands we commit her.  He has loved her a lot longer than us and the prayers raised on her behalf have not fallen on deaf ears.  This side of heaven we may never where Harmony ends up  but I am at peace that the Lord has a plan for this precious treasure and I can't wait to hear the rest of her story.



But Laurel isn't in a country that values their special ones.  Where she is headed is a place of no return.  And  because of that - I just can't rest.

SHE NEEDS A FAMILY.

She faces a lifetime sentence inside a building where people sit and stare at the walls all day.  She is a cognitively normal girl who has a physical disability.  Dear Lord.  Please.

Her time is running out!!!




That is what I want for my 50th birthday.

Laurel to have a family.

On my knees before the throne.

I need to go get some tissues.