Monday, June 25, 2012

Crying Out for Porter!

My heart broke into pieces on Friday.

When I saw the message on my Messenger I just wanted to weep and cry.

I have walked around for 2 days in shock and sorrow.

The little boy in Pink.


A little boy I had never really seen on RR before. 


Just a little boy in a pink shirt with a faraway look in his eyes.


No, Lord, NO!

 I had never noticed him before Friday, but I see him now.  I know him now.

Why??  Many kids are transferred.  Though I grieve at their transfers, I don't want to weep and wail.

Why this one?

This little boy in the little girl shirt.


 I know the gates that keep him locked inside.  I know what building he is sleeping inside.  I know the floor he is living on.  I know the caretakers who are watching over him. I know the smells that assault him.  I know the sounds that terrify him.  I know.

My heart broke in pieces on Friday for one little boy who was transferred to a level 4 special needs mental institute for severely and mentally disabled boys BECAUSE I KNOW WHERE HE IS!


I know where Porter is living.

I know and my heart is shattered for Porter.


There are NO balloons in his world.

There are no presents.

There are no programs.

No colorful chairs and tables.

No toys.  No books. 

There are only sheds and empty rooms.

Oh DEAR PORTER.   How my heart breaks for you.

 I know where you are little boy!  


You are in a stage four mental institute for severely and mentally disabled boys because you have HIV and because you have some speech and mental delays.  You couldn't answer their questions.  You couldn't tell them what they wanted to hear.  Your words didn't come out quickly enough and because of this Porter, you were condemned to spend the rest of your childhood in a facility that is closed and hidden and out in the middle of nowhere.  

Everything you have ever known in your life has been taken away from you.  That special present you opened is gone.   Those clothes you are wearing.  Gone.  Those nannies who have held you since you were a tiny babe.  Gone. Those friends who have shared the same room, the same playpens, the same toys.  Gone.  The medicine you received in the orphanage.  Probably Gone.  You are a LOST BOY.   

You are LOST because up until now no one has ever seen you.  They haven't looked in your eyes and heard a whisper that screamed in their ears.. GO!  THAT IS YOUR SON!

But maybe now.  Maybe someone will SEE you.

Maybe someone will read HIV in your description but see SON when they look in your eyes.

Dear Lord.  

Heath.  Hanson.  Porter.  All the others.  Lost.  Wasting away.  Sitting day after day in their hot sheds with nothing to do but listen to the groans of the other boys.  Smacking their own heads.  Smacking the boy beside them.  

Dear Lord.

Who is going to go get Porter? Who will carry out Heath?  Who will rescue Hanson? Who will step up and rescue these precious treasures? 

My heart is breaking.

It is truly breaking.

Please.  Someone SEE these kids.  SEE THEM!

                              HANSON                                                                    HEATH                                  
                              $2314.00                                                                    $9133.94                                   



Porter has NOT been there long.  He was just recently transferred.  Please someone SEE him.  Rescue him from a lifetime sentence of NOTHINGNESS.


For more info and parent support on adopting and raising a child with HIV, please visit

See below other bloggers who are also trying to get people to SEE Porter!





  1. Praying for Porter and the Lost Boys

    Can I share your blog post?

  2. Can I borrow your description of the lost boys institution for my post?? I indicated clearly where the text is from with a link to the page it was featured. It is just a perfect descriptive text. I want people to know exactly where these boys are and what their lives are like!

  3. Words escape me.....this is so tragic. I will be sharing your post as well.

  4. Thanks, Julia, for helping us SEE

  5. I'm devastated for him :'( please Lord, send his family fast!!

  6. My oldest son is looking at me, worried, because I am crying. I want so badly to help this boy! And others like him. But we are not eligible to adopt, and we cannot afford another child. What can I do to help? Please tell me there is something.

  7. We will be praying too!!! It is absolutely tragic for this little boy...I will post about it on FB and on my blog and somehow there must be a mom and dad that are desperate for him too...

  8. Absolutely captivated by Porter. Sharing every way I can. My heart is crying why! No words other than grief. Thank you for sharing!

  9. I noticed Porter and have loved and prayed for him for a year. I raised money for his grant and have shared his face on Facebook. We have been in the middle of a move across country and as my internet is now only on my phone, I did not know until today that he has been transferred. My heart is breaking. If you get any new information about him, please email me if you would be so is easier when working on my phone. Please. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for advocating for him and for sharing these pictures.


Loving words from kind people make our hearts glad!