Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Down On My Knees

Grief overwhelmed me a few weeks ago.  

It completely caught me off guard.

Grief for two little boys I have never met but who have impacted me deep inside my heart.  Two little boys who were part of Aaron's story.  Aaron's history.

Two little boys who were my breaking point. One of the many reasons I stopped blogging.

They lived in Aaron's baby house.  They grew up walking the same halls he walked.


Two little boys who were transferred about a year after he was transferred.

The director having little control over where they were sent.

I was comforted that where they were sent was not as bad as where Aaron went.  I was comforted until a few weeks ago when we found out that they had been transferred out of that place and into another.  

And where they are is a living hell.

See Everett.. little dark-skinned Everett.  He is Roma.  A gypsy boy.  To us he is beautiful.  To them he is outcast.  Hated.  Vile.  And where he is living - they treat him as an outcast.  His body is covered in bruises. His eyes are no longer bright and happy.  He is haunted and alone.  Terrified of his own shadow.  Abused.  Not just by the nannies but by the older children.  Hearing this.  Knowing that someone was there observing the abuse.  Seeing his eyes.  My heart shattered.

Aaron.  Jacob. 

 Everett. Olson. 


Sweet Porter.

 Living in Aaron's old institute.  Sitting in his old shed. 
All five boys transferred out. 

All five boys transferred to spirit-breaking places.  All five boys.

Two are home.  Aaron and Jacob.

Three need to come home.

Porter.  Everett. Olson.

All three have families.

Yes Everett and Olson have a family.  A wonderful, loving family who adopted THREE CHILDREN FROM THE SAME BABY HOUSE.  Did you read that?  Did you read that??  The family that is adopting Everett and Olson were THERE at that baby house.  Two years ago.  THEY SAW THE BOYS.  They saw them.  That is all I am going to share because it is their story to tell and they have not shared it. Yet.

Three boys.

Understand this.  Porter.  Everett.  Olson.  They are in places that suck the very soul out of children.  Each day they sit and wait is another day of damage done to their little hearts and minds.

It is enough to make me want to cry out in agony.  To stop blogging.  To curl up and mourn their loss.  To walk away because the grief for them is too much to bear.

It is one of the many reasons I had to stop blogging.  I had to pull away.  The sorrow was too great.

But they have families. They have families.

And they have not been forgotten.  

They are not forgotten.  They may be sitting in misery, neglected, abused, mistreated - but hope is coming.  

I could beg for money here because the NEED IS GREAT FOR ALL THREE FAMILIES.  The Enskat's need over 20,000 to get Everett and Olson out and the Erikson's need over 16,000.  I could beg and I should beg because the need is great and these families don't have the luxury of time.  They are on a crash course to get their paperwork done and across the ocean before the country closes down for a few months. I could beg for money. I won't. I'll let the Holy Spirit do the begging in that department.


I'm just plain begging for prayers for these boys.  

CHURCH - WE NEED TO PRAY GOD'S PROTECTION ON THE HEARTS OF THESE BOYS.  They are just little boys living in a nightmare that needs to end soon.  Please please pray for them.  Put their pictures on your refrigerators or on your bathroom mirror.  Put them on your church prayer chains.  Tuck their names inside your Bible.  Pray for them.  Pray.  I have seen Porter's world. Renee has seen Everett and Olson's.  Where they are living is not pretty.  It is a dark world.  It is sorrowful and lonely.  If you could just glimpse for a few minutes their world you would fall to your knees too.  It changed us.  We had our hearts ripped out two years ago and two years later I am still grieving.  

I am begging you to pray.  

I am down on my knees begging you.

Pray these boys home.

Pray them home.


  1. Oh, Julia, sometimes the grief is almost paralyzing! It stops me in my tracks and I don't know how to get up and keep going, but somehow God gives me strength. The thought of what these boys endure, it is just too much. My girls, lying in cribs today in a foreign country, knowing they are not getting any attention, it just kills me! And while I am sitting here shedding tears for these precious ones, God reminds me again of Heath and Hanson who have no one coming yet. We must keep shouting, but sometimes I feel so hoarse, like I'm yelling into the wind. God give us the courage and strength to keep going!

  2. Julia, you are doing your part in keeping these children's needs in the eyes of your many readers. I cannot do MUCH, but I can do SOMETHING, and I pray that God will bless my small gift to these two families, and that many more will be impressed to give so that these boys can soon have their families - forever. God bless the efforts you put into saving these children. Jesus said: If you have done it unto the least of these - you have done it unto ME.


  3. Julia - I just don't know what to say. It is overwhelming to me. I want to jump in a plane and save them. Thank you for putting this issue before us (and your huge audience) nearly daily. I find that so many people have no idea 1. of the orphan crisis and 2. of the horrible life these children live while waiting for someone to rescue them. I am with you praying for the church to rise up and respond already! I'm not sure how people can be presented with the facts and yet sleep at night. I know you are weary from blogging but God has given you this forum (it is one of the powerful, wonderful things about the computer) - and you write so eloquently and with such heart and knowledge. Please don't ever stop. I know that blogs have educated me so much in the years I have been researching adoption and how to help orphans. Saw you from afar yesterday while you were looking for the "needle in the hall (haystack)" and didn't want to interrupt you. Love ya and love your precious heart for these children! Julie

  4. The plight of the waiting children tears at my heart. But I found a way to help some of them stay warm this winter: local (central KY) Family Dollar Stores lowered prices on past season winter merchandise to $2.00 per item. So I hit two stores and loaded up with children's flannel pjs, puffy hooded coats, knit tops, hoodies, two-piece fleece sets(two-
    piece sets were $2.00, not $4.00)and am boxing it all up to send to Alla at Bible Orphan Ministry. BOM is a small Ukrainian charity which serves ten orphanages and mental institutions, assists teens who've aged out, and helps orphaned children with and without special needs, and I cannot say enough good things about them. Most of their staff grew up in the orphanage system...see Alla's blog at for more info.

    Others might want to check their local Family Dollar Stores right now, and see if the sale is also going on in their areas. $200 purchased around $1,200 worth of warm clothing - that's such a bargain that I can afford to splurge on the postage!

    And of course, Reece's Rainbow is dear to my heart -I'll be at the RR booth at the local Buddy Walk next month to help spread the word.

    Thank you, Julia, for your tender heart and conviction for children. Your advocacy and love are making a huge difference.

    Susan in Ky
    Cousin to 2 teens from EE

  5. Thank you Julia for continuing to advocate for Porter and get his story out there! We have now come to the point where we have to wait on others to continue on our journey. We are so very excited to see how fast this process has gone so far and believe the rest will go just as fast, if not faster! Yes, we are VERY short on funds, and the reality is we could be traveling in just a few months. Prayers and first and foremost the most needed. Please join with me in prayer believing that Porter's mind and body are sustained and that he is kept from any evil that may try to hurt him. Every single penny counts and we appreciate all of the support everyone has and is giving. THANK YOU! The Eriksen's

  6. Please don't stop Julia, your experience and knowledge of the older facilities needs to be shared. Praying for these boys and these families.

  7. Thank you Julia. I donated a certain amount on behalf of each of my children. I read a comment somewhere else where someone said, if you had a family emergency, you could come up with some money to respond. Well folks, this is a family emergency. Those boys need to be rescued. They aren't sitting in a mediocre baby house. They are in facilities where they are being abused mentally, physically, or both, from what I have read. I encourage you to read this post about the dire situation Everett is in and give. Give like it's your sister or brother who has just called on the phone and said there is an emergency with your niece or nephew. Rise up church. Please.



  8. I read the mama's blog about the place she saw Everett. It broke my heart and I have been praying for that sweet boy ever since. I will keep praying until we see him come home.

  9. Any updates on these two?


Loving words from kind people make our hearts glad!