Sunday, September 3, 2017

If You Leave Me Now

As all the world knows by now, the internet's a great place to find recipes. Who hasn't gone to the web to search for a fresh new casserole, or tips on grilling chicken?

Today's blog features a recipe the world seems to have learned without the internet. Here's how to break a little girl's heart in five easy steps:

1. Let her live with her mother until she gets sick. Then have her mother abandon her.

2. Send her to live in an orphanage full of strangers. Give her nothing to call her own, not even one set of clothes. Make her share everything, so that she won't want to share anything. Train her to see all other children as rivals, not friends.

3. Give her false hope by bringing in a new set of parents.

4. Rip those new parents away from her by making them wait forever for a court hearing. A month is good, longer is better.

5. Bring the parents back. Then rip them away again by making them wait ten more days before they can even start the paperwork to take her home.

We left Mary around noon yesterday, on our way back home to wait for court. It broke our hearts to do it. She is too young to understand why we left, and too stubborn to forgive. We have no doubt that she will punish us when we return for court-- probably severely. It may take days to gain back the trust we lost by abandoning her.

Trouble is, we won't have days. After court comes a mandatory ten-day waiting period, because... Who knows why? The process has become so unpredictable that we don't dare wait out the ten days in country, for fear it will become three weeks. Much as we hate to, we're planning to fly home again after court-- which means abandoning her yet again. Poor child. If only we could wish the next six weeks away, for her sake and ours.


  1. Praying that Mary will know in her heart that you will be back as soon as possible! Hang in there!

  2. It breaks my heart ! Don't they sometimes wave the ten days waiting period? Praying for little Mary!

  3. I am praying... You have always followed the heart of God..May he bless you with peace as you go home and wait.. (Melody W.)

  4. Julia, I am praying for all of you. But more than anything, I am praying for Mary. I am praying that God would protect Mary's heart and miraculously reveal to her that she is loved and she is not abandoned. I pray that she will feel God loving arms surrounding her. I pray for peace like she has never known to fill her to overflowing. And may that same peace rain down upon you and your family. Gentle Hugs my friend.
    Lisa Higgs Smith

  5. I feel your turmoil and I pray more diligently. And yet I am believing He is bigger than all of the twisted stories the enemy insinuates, screams, and mockingly tells. God is the strength of your hearts and your portion forever. And He has been and will always be present in every moment of Mary's life. Praying His whispers of Truth to her soul, His protection for her body, mind and heart. His watch care over budding relationships and trust being built. How often i feel like doing what He leads me to should be easier and quicker than it plays out!! May He supernaturally grant you His peace to guard your hearts and your minds. May His words wash over each of you and carry you along in His love and powerful redemption...(so not a sermon or trite bunch of answers..I wish I were sitting with you to mingle tears and prayers.. But I will carry hope for you and worship over these challenges. Much love!!

  6. Heartbreaking...I am so sorry things are so, well, unwieldy, in-child-friendly, irrational - and so on. But time will pass, and now that you've actually met and gotten to know Mary, you can make good use of the time at home to prepare for her: check out UVA's resources, get her wardrobe ready, put the final touches on her room, love on your boys and tell them all about their little-sister-to-be, take a few day trips over to the BRP - and don't forget to breathe. The time will pass, and ultimately, Miss Mary will be your forever daughter and you all will be her forever family.

    Hugs and prayers heading your way - and across The Pond, too.

    Susan in Kentucky
    Cousin to 2 college freshmen (!) from U.

  7. She is adorable..... Yes; undoubtedly your departure will resonate with all she "knows" about how trustworthy adults are. But you can repair. And, things that are repaired are often stronger than before.


Loving words from kind people make our hearts glad!