Monday, October 30, 2017

All About Mary

It's a quiet Monday here. A bit of a respite after days upon days of going here and there. We are vehicle weary. The thought of getting in a car and driving anywhere at this point makes us want to howl. 

Little girl has spent the past few hours content on the floor, surrounded by her pile of toys and enjoying the novelty of playing without having to fight, pinch, kick or bite anyone away. We have learned quickly that she is a professional pincher. My hands and arms have learned the hard way. Her motto is my way or the highway. When her way isn't happening she is a bit like a feral cat with claws out and a snarling face.

We get it.

She doesn't know us. We don't speak her language except for a few butchered words (especially me - Rob is much better in this department and John is working hard at remembering). She's frustrated and scared and can't communicate with us what she wants or needs. The words she does know are not clear because of her speech issues.

So she fights. And snarls. And pinches. And claws.

But she also snuggles and laughs and reaches her hands out to us and is slowly slowly beginning to try to communicate to us. 

She loves to clean and help and water is her love language!

She is slowly engaging with her brothers and reaching out in small ways to them.

If you give her a pillow and tell her to whack Papa with it - she will gladly oblige and then turn and whack Mama even if we are on the same team!!

We have learned that she is pretty fearless.  We went to a petting place and little girl went right into each pen without pause and was not the least bit afraid to pet and hold and feed the animals.

She was completely nonplussed when Papa's hat was food for a certain lemur.

She has moments of joy and moments when she withdraws from us. We wonder what she is thinking when she 'disappears.' We well remember Aaron doing the same thing which gives us some peace when it happens although it is hard to watch her close us out.

She has moments when she wants only us and other times when we are around other people that she will reach out and want to be held by strangers. We have to ask kindly that they give her high fives and pats. Hugs and holding are for family only.

Her seizures happen all.the.time, but thankfully she is willing to wear her headband which has provided some protection against the whacks her head is constantly taking. It's heartbreaking to watch.

She's ours.

Every bit of her. From her adorable smiles to her blank stares to her snarling faces.  She's ours.

And we love her quite fiercely!


  1. It is a pleasure to get to know a little about Mary. Can't wait to meet her in person!

  2. All very understandable and typical, given Mary's background and the huge changes which are impacting her right now. Once communication improves, so should a lot of other things. Are you considering using sign language, or rather, total communication, with her? What a blessing that John has retained some of his original language - he looks as if he adores Mary, in some of these pictures.

    Mary sounds like an active, spunky, spirited, scared but open-to-change and affectionate little girl, who has had to be far too defensive recently. Once she learns that it's no longer necessary to pinch and push and fight for what she wants and needs, life should be much more comfortable for everyone, especially Mary.

    Thanks for the updates- glad you found time for some fun activities amongst all the paperwork!

    Susan in Kentucky, remembering a newly-home little girl relative from U. who didn't want to learn English and thought everyone else should just learn Russian instead, when she was about Mary's age...

  3. This is just what I expected.. amazing.. your love for children that need parents and a forever family is fierce! My prayers are with you.

  4. Is Aaron wearing a headband in an act of solidarity or does he too need one?

  5. She is beautiful! John does look like a proud big brother. Aaron might need a bit more time. How blessed we all are to experience his love through you.
    Kate Germany

  6. So glad for a quiet day for all! I'll bet you are ready to get back home. Praying for everything to wrap up speedily.

  7. So happy for all of you! Mary has truly been blessed with an understanding, safe, and most of all loving family! Thank you so much for sharing her with us! Continued prayers for transition and trust! God is so good!!!

  8. The fact that a little girl has to fight and pinch and snarl just to survive is heart breaking. But there is light even during these early days. I just love the picture of Mary and the washing. God bless all of you as you journey to become a family. Prayers and love.


  9. Love all your descriptions of lovely Mary! You are an amazing family!


Loving words from kind people make our hearts glad!