THE WALL

It surrounds Aaron's institute. 

Made of concrete. 

Forbidding. 

Two gates lead inside.

The pretty one is deceiving.  

Its designs face to the road, unseen by the boys inside. 

It is a secondary gate and rarely used.

This is the main gate.

At night and on weekends.... chained shut.

A side door allows us entrance to see Aaron.

The boys inside never go outside that wall.  

They are hidden.

The "Lost Boys"

They can hear the world going by but cannot see it. 

The cars, trucks, motorcyles and buses that drive past the wall hour by hour are only "Machinas" to the boys, recognized only by the sounds they make. 

Oh, the longing to see what is outside.  It burns in their hearts.

But....

With a Mama and Papa and a brother,

a Lost Boy can walk up to the forbidding gate. 

He can tentatively lean out to peek at the crane working on the house across the street.  

What joy!  What wonder!  

The world outside the gate. 

And even... if but for a moment... to step a happy toe onto the concrete beyond the wall.

In only a few short weeks,

by the grace of God,

we will walk that little lost boy out of that gate,

an orphan no longer, to see the world beyond. 

Wonder of wonders! 

I cannot wait for that day!

FOCUS

     I need to get focused.  Unfortunately the ONLY time I am truly focused is when I am supposed to be sleeping.  Then my brain starts to remember and think about all the things that need to be done before we leave.  I jump out of bed to try to write down all those things I was laying there thinking about.  I open up the screen to the "To-Do" page and.... can no longer remember what it was that was racing through my brain only minutes before!!

     Has anyone else had this problem or is it just me?? 

     We leave on August 23rd.  I am nowhere near ready to go and am so consumed with just getting on that plane and getting back to Aaron and finishing the process, that I am struggling to remember everything that needs to be done before we leave.   Rob is trying to finish up the house he is building.  He is working crazy hours to get as much done as possible in order to take off for weeks on end.  Both our "To-Do" lists seem endless.

     In the midst of the frenzy, over the last week, I have been confronted with the reality that my boys need me.  They need Rob.  This has been a lousy summer for doing anything fun.  We have spent little quality time together.  Adoptions are hard and it has taken a toll on this family.  We are leaving BOTH boys behind for 3-4 weeks.  They are going to be home, alone, in the house for weeks on end.  Dad will be next door to see that they have food to eat, to watch over them and to get them to their various activities.  But that is a long time for us to be separate as a family.
     We desperately need to spend quality time with them in the next week.  So in the midst of getting ready to go - we are working in just plain having fun with our kids.  Yesterday I took them to the river.  Oh what fun to watch them swim, to hear them laugh, to wade in the water with them and to sit in a chair and just read.  Tonight we are going to watch a fun drama production with a group we have been a part of for many years.   Next week we are going to King's Dominion for a day. 
     My allusive 'To-Do' list is important.  Focusing on crossing the globe to bring home a precious treasure is important.  Aaron is well worth the lack of sleep and frantic preparations we both are doing to get ready.  But our two precious treasures here are just as important.  They need us.  They need us to be focused on them and their needs.  They need to know that we treasure them, love them, enjoy them and will deeply miss them when we leave.
     So in the midst of trying to get our heads on straight to get Aaron... I am working at finding things we can do here with the boys.  Just for fun.  Just to laugh and be a family.

BECAUSE THEY ARE WORTH IT!

P.S. - Getting one decent picture of these two goofballs was quite the production!  What in the world am I going to do when I have to get Aaron to cooperate too???

Just Because...

WE ARE COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS

 UNTIL WE GET TO FLY BACK TO GO GET THIS LITTLE GUY...

WE ARE WILLING TO ENDURE EXCRUTIATINGLY LONG AIRPLANES RIDES...

JET LAG ....

STRANGE HAPPENINGS IN THE APARTMENT BELOW US....

EVEN HAVING TO USE THIS... UNDER EXTREME EMERGENCIES....

SHOPPING IN THE ONLY REAL MARKET IN OUR VILLAGE...

AND TAXI RIDES IN AN UN-AIRCONDITIONED CAR....

JUST BECAUSE WE LOVE TO SEE HIM SMILE....

JUST SAYING....

Happy Birthday Aaron

I miss you little guy.  I'm sad today.  No cakes or candles or presents for your special day.  No presents to open or anyone to sing for you.  No special hugs or kisses.  Dear little Aaron.  We are coming soon.  Soon.

 

Miss Valla

     

      Aaron's village doesn't have a hotel.  No bed and breakfast either.  There is a school with a few rooms that are available to rent.  They were full.  We arrived in the village unannounced.   This stunned us but seemed normal to everyone involved.  We are Americans who plan our lives out weeks and months in advance.  We make lists, consult maps, google everything and make sure every base is covered before we leave home.  
     We drove into a village with no idea where the center of town was located, where the social services building was located, where a bathroom was located!  Our facilitator took it all in stride.  She knew exactly where to go despite never being there before.  She directed the driver and he drove right up to the building we needed, she walked in and within just a few minutes had started the process for us to go see Aaron.  Unbelievable.  But, our housing still needed to be solved.  No hotel.  No rented rooms.  No problem. 
     Calls were made and within a few hours of our dropping unannounced into the village, an 80 year old woman, with dyed hair and gold teeth, vacated her bedroom and invited us to stay with her.  She spoke not one word of English, we spoke about three words of her language, but somehow we communicated - with signs, a bit of polite German phrases we both knew and a lot of laughing. We couldn't pronounce her name so we called her Miss Valla.

      It was not the Hilton.  The three of us were crammed in one room.

It was hot.  Brutally hot.  We had one little fan that we directed so that all three of us could feel it.

We sat on our beds whenever we were in the apartment.  We had nowhere else to go.

We felt like we had gone back in time.

A kitchen much like my Great Grandmother's kitchen,  although not quite as clean! 

To save money, dishes are washed with a liquid dish soap that is diluted down to one drop soap and one bottle water.  One bottle of dish detergent in Miss Valla's apartment will last her a lifetime.  We bought our own bottle of dish detergent.  She thought we were a bit crazy!

An old fashioned phone with an old fashioned ring!  It worked!

A radio that played non-stop.

Our bathroom...

Well... let's just say that it doesn't have a chamber pot - but it definitely is not the Hilton!

A shower room that is separate...

     The image on the door is deceiving.  Unfortunately I did not get a picture of the shower room (or bath stall).  It is a tiny little room that contains a sink, an old style bathtub and a cabinet.  You have room only to walk in and close the door.  The bathtub has a board laying across the back of it that holds a bunch of washtubs.  So you can't use the bathtub as a bathtub.  You can't use it as a shower either.  The hose to the shower is not hooked up to the wall.  Basically you squat in the tub and wash and spray.  Not so bad for my 5'2' frame but poor Rob! 

We washed our clothes in the washtubs and hung them out to dry on a line off her balcony.   We cooked in her little kitchen (washing all the dishes BEFORE we used them) and ate at her table. 

She had funny little rituals.  Before we left we had to sit on short little foot stools in the little foyer for a few minutes.  It was for good luck.

She thought we were going to get sick because we put bottles of water in the freezer. 

She dried bread in bowls in the windowsill.  In the bedroom.

She served us borscht.   

Poor Elijah.  He took one look at the stuff in the bowl and wanted to immediately throw up.  We were whispering to him to 'just take one bite'.  She was watching and wondering why he was stirring his spoon in the bowl but not eating.  Too cold?  No problem.  She whisked away his soup and heated it up in a pan.  Back in front of him it came.  More stirring.  Too hot? 

 She's definitely confused.

We were quietly begging for him to just take a bite.  Both of us eating ours with more relish than we felt to offset his reluctance.  Finally he got some in his mouth.  His shudder and look said it all.   Okay - she pulls out chicken.  The boy will eat chicken.  Relief!  Elijah loves chicken.  Yes - Da  - he will eat chicken.  She brings it to him... AND DUMPS IT INTO THE BORSCHT!!

Dear Miss Valla 

 We left our fan and Aaron's stuff in her apartment. 

She has already told us she wants us to come back. 

We can't wait! 

Please though - no Borscht!

WE HAVE COURT

     With tears streaming down my face I am writing these words.  We received news this morning that we have court on August 26.  Praise the Lord.  To say we are relieved would be putting it mildly.  A bit in shock - absolutely.  Excited - not there yet!  Too much to do... still pinching ourselves...

     Of course we don't get the easy court.  Breaking into a new region - opening doors for other boys means that each step is only a baby step.  Our court is a baby step.  It is a preliminary court.  The 'real' court will be a week (hopefully) from the first court.  So we actually have two courts.  It is not ideal.  It is not normal.  It means a longer stay in country.  It means added stress as we wait for the 2nd court but the mountain is melting.  We stand in awe.  We have to continue to trust - taking each step as we go.  On the day Rob and I were married, as we walked down the aisle and out of the church, after our vows were made, one of our favorite songs from one of our favorite Christian artists, Rich Mullins, played in the background.  Step By Step.  Over 17 years later - we are still playing out the words to that song.

STEP BY STEP

Oh God, You are my God

And I will ever praise You

Oh God, You are my God

And I will ever praise You

I will seek You in the morning

And I will learn to walk in Your ways

And step by step You'll lead me

And I will follow You all of my days

Guess....

Can you guess what is in this picture?

IT'S AARON'S PLAYGROUND EQUIPMENT....

Dilapidated, rusted, neglected, falling apart...

They use them as dryer racks for the laundry!

On one of our first days there, one of the boys wanted to show us the 'car'.  It had a broken steering wheel attached.  He was so thrilled to be able to show us the broken wheel on the rusted out car.   His delight was heartbreaking. 

There is such need.  We can't even begin to get our heads around it.

Finding the Silver Lining

     I hate that we are not heading back to Aaron's country soon.  I hate sitting here feeling like we are spinning circles in the sand.  I'm fighting to have a positive attitude about everything.  So here is my attempt to find the silver lining...

     I get to work  on the Medieval curriculum that I realized was impossible to work on over there!  I've gotten a lot accomplished in the last two weeks while waiting for the ever-important e-mails.... I plan on getting even more accomplished as we wait.  Of course this really isn't something I can get too excited about as I am very burned out from writing and would love to NOT be writing but I'm trying to focus on the positive here....

     I get to take Ben for his first days at a local Community College in a few weeks.  He is going to be taking a few classes this fall and now I get to help him in his first weeks and for that I am very grateful.  

     We get to catch up on some rest... IF.... we could both learn to fall asleep AND STAY ASLEEP.  It is very hard to stay asleep when your heart is torn in two.  We are working on this silver lining.

     Plane tickets in September will be a lot less expensive than in August.  THAT IS A MAJOR SILVER LINING!

     I am teaching two Homeschooling classes this fall and I've been able to order supplies and work on lessons plans.   I'm definitely happy for the extra time I have to put into these classes.

     I get to see Joseph and the Techni-color Dreamcoat in a few weeks.  Rob and the boys were supposed to be in the show but the adoption kept them from doing it.  But at least we get to see it and for that we are glad.   The people in the show are good friends and have been very supportive of this adoption.  They rock!

     So there are a few silver linings.  Of course, if I got an e-mail today saying that we had court next week - I would gladly toss all of that to the wind (except for Ben and school) and jump on the next flight back to Aaron! 

.....BECAUSE WE MISS THE LITTLE STINKER...

P.S.  I took this picture and a whole host of others on the last day we were with him.  I knew we were leaving and tried without success to get him to look at the camera.  He was TIRED of the camera by this point -didn't care at all that he could see himself in the screen and just wanted to play with the new trucks and the crane we brought.  I tried everything to get him to look at the camera.  He would only look at me AFTER the camera clicked.... Definitely a little stinker!!

    

News of sorts

     We heard from our facilitator today.  In a nutshell and as best as we can understand, the judge is continuing to work through our paperwork.  To compound the issue, key people in her district who would take part in court are on vacation until the end of August.  So we are looking at court not happening until September at the earliest.
     To say we are sad would be putting it mildly.  We are looking at another four weeks at least before we can go back for Aaron.  It grieves us that he will not understand what happened to us.  Though we have been reassured that he has been told we will come back, he is just a little boy and we were the first visitors he has ever had.  I can't wrap my brain around the fact that I can't hold him, kiss his cute little cheeks and listen to his incredible laugh for another month. 

     Please don't grow weary in praying for him, for the judge, for our facilitators, for our situation.  Please keep praying!

Still Waiting for News

     Time is passing slowly.  We have had no news since Monday night and the wait is hard.  We miss Aaron.

Oh what we would give to bring him home. 

Does he think he has been abandoned again?  Is he still looking out the window, waiting for us? 

There are just no more words.

Consider the Lilies

We waited all day yesterday and received no news.  Again this morning we face an empty in-box.  Last night, after checking the internet for the thousandths time, we climbed into bed and reminded ourselves again that this is a journey of faith.  Faith.  Trust.  Obedience.  A willingness to operate on His timetable, not ours. 

This morning the verses from Luke 12 came to mind...

Consider the Lilies....

Okay... so they aren't lilies but I LOVE ROSES...

So for my blog this morning.... through Luke 12.. we are going to stop and smell the flowers in Aaron's country.... and be refreshed in spirit!

And maybe we will take some time to check out ants too....

Luke 12: 22-34

Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.

Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.

If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!

 

 And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it.

 

For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them.

 

 But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.

 

Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Showers of Blessing

  

 I just want to take a moment in the midst of all of our waiting for a judge far far away to make the most important decision of our lives to say, that God is quietly showering us with blessings in our time of waiting.

     As many of you know, we thought we had just about raised EVERYTHING we needed for our trip.  When we had to come home without Aaron it was like a sock in the gut on a lot of levels.   The financial level seemed big.  But people have responded.  Yesterday, from EUROPE, Georgia, North Carolina and Maryland and from my own two wonderful nieces who gave us their babysitting money from the summer  - we were overwhelmed with donations for Aaron.  Apart from my nieces, we don't know the people who so willingly opened their pocketbooks.  Unbelievable. 

This morning I wake to find another donation FROM CALIFORNIA!  Again from an unknown family.  Our little thermometer is again rising.  Yes we still have a ways to go but people - in the midst of all the worry - God has again taken the lead and has made it clear  that He has carried us this far financially and He is going to see us through. 

     In the course of this adoption - we have received gifts for Aaron from INDONESIA to HAWAII.  We have had donations from Asia, Europe, Africa and North America.  We have been blessed from sea to shining sea in our wonderful country!  You honestly can't get much better than that!  Across the globe over 550 people have rallied behind our adoption and the number keeps growing. 

    We just want all of our donors to know this.... EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO HAS GIVEN 1.00 OR 5,000 DOLLARS TO LOVE AARON HOME - Every single name will be put on Aaron's puzzle.  The border around the puzzle is going to have all the names of the people who are even today donating for him.

 I'm crying as I write this because I am stunned, amazed and in awe of the way that God, in the midst of such a difficult time for both Rob and me, is showering us with His loving care in such a tangible way.  

There shall be showers of blessing:

This is the promise of love;

There shall be seasons refreshing,

Sent from the Savior above.

Refrain:

Showers of blessing,

Showers of blessing we need:

Mercy-drops round us are falling,

But for the showers we plead.

There shall be showers of blessing,

Precious reviving again;

Over the hills and the valleys,

Sound of abundance of rain.

There shall be showers of blessing;

Send them upon us, O Lord;

Grant to us now a refreshing,

Come, and now honor Thy Word.

There shall be showers of blessing:

Oh, that today they might fall,

Now as to God we’re confessing,

Now as on Jesus we call!

There shall be showers of blessing,

If we but trust and obey;

There shall be seasons refreshing,

If we let God have His way.

....some news....

     We got a little bit of news.  Our facilitator met with the judge today.  Adoptions are completely new in this area and the judge told our facilitator that she needs more time to consider and review the case.  That means that we will wait another day before she decides what she wants to do.

     All we can do is storm heaven.  Pray not only for this adoption and our precious child, but that the floodgates would be open and other children in Aaron's institute would be brought into loving families.  There are children that are even now being listed on Reece's Rainbow because the door has finally been opened.  As soon as we get through court and are safe on the other side, I will be doing everything in my power to get those children into families.     Until we get to that point, I will let other blogs post the new children and tell their stories.  On top of the new little boys being listed, there are several Christian ministries in Aaron's country who are now working to gain access in that institute in order to bring hope and help to the caregivers and the children.

    So pray.  Pray that God will do a mighty and amazing act in Aaron's world.  Pray that he will no longer be waiting, looking out the window for his Mama and Papa to return but will be in our arms and in our home.  Pray for the judge that she will agree to hear our case and will extend to us a court date.  Pray for the 130+ boys in that institute.  Pray that our God will do a work that is more than we can even imagine!! 

Ephesians 3: 20-21

  Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

No News

     I've been waiting all day for news.  Keeping busy...breathing prayers under my breath, doing small jobs, big jobs, checking my e-mail every 10 minutes, calculating what is happening over there, praying some more.  No news.   Will just have to keep praying.  Please join me!

One Little Boy, One Little Truck

WE BOUGHT AARON A TRUCK...

It was a cheap truck. 

The kind you buy at a Dollar Store. 

Plastic. 

Easily broken.

HE LOVED IT.

HIS MACHINA....

JUST RIGHT FOR A SANDBOX....

AND PERFECT FOR PLAYING WITH A FRIEND....

EASILY BROKEN.... EASILY FIXED...

GREAT FUN WHEN YOU ADD A PAPA... AND A CRANE...

ONE LITTLE BOY, ONE LITTLE TRUCK....

THE SMILE SAYS IT ALL...