Hold Me Jesus

(Rob writing)

We've all seen public service announcements about risky behaviors, from opening suspicious emails to texting while driving. As a responsible citizen, I feel I must warn the world against a new danger I've discovered: thinking in airports. Based on our experience of the last 48 hours, Julia and I estimate that simply walking into an airport lowers one's IQ by at least 30 points. Factor in the jet lag from an international flight, and the number doubles. The mere act of boarding an airplane can turn geniuses into dullards, and dullards like us into imbeciles. We have no doubt that pending scientific experiments will confirm these numbers. Until they do, be advised: Friends don't let friends make life-changing decisions in airports!

Dull as my brain was in those airports, it was still sharp enough to notice another danger. I've read enough history to know that experiments in communism usually come to a bad end. But I've also seen the dangers of excessive capitalism; and the airlines are a good example. Their strain to promote first-class travel goes a bit far, to say the least.

In the airport: "Travelers from our gold class, silver class, platinum class, and sapphire class may board to my right at their earliest convenience. All others, line up at the stock gate to my left on your way to the cattle pen. The fact that you paid $1500 for your ticket doesn't matter, only that you paid less than these fine folks."

On the airplane: "Travelers who hold emerald cards may use their quick menu (TM) to order service the instant they board. All others, wait for our flight attendants to fork some hay into your trough. By the by, emerald card holders, we're sorry you have to endure the rabble passing through your mansion on the way to their slum. Just know that it will make them envy you all the more, which you probably want; and that it will encourage them to spend more in the future, which we definitely want."

I suppose I shouldn't complain, though. As Julia never ceases to remind me, it's my fault we're going through all this again. It's the pictures that do it. They show you pictures of all these beautiful kids, and tell you the kind of lives they're doomed to lead if no one helps them. The thought of being someone's last chance to escape that kind of life... That's what moves me to tears. It's well worth a few rough days at the airport.

Hopefully, it's also worth the anxiety we're going through today. We ran into some possible problems yesterday, and we're waiting to see if they can be resolved. Nothing we can share right now. You can prepare all you want, but you can never prepare for everything that might happen when you walk into one of these government offices.

Please pray that something good will happen today.

Well, sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big, and my faith just seems so small
So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace?

--from Hold Me Jesus by Rich Mullins

What is Good

He has shown us what is good... to seek justice. to love mercy. to walk humbly with Him.

We are here.

A bit brain-fried from 24 hours of traveling.

But we are here.

All our stuff in four carry-on bags...

...So that we could meet this sweet lady at the airport. She brought us 2 suitcases loaded with baby bundles and comforters. All of it made by the loving hands of some amazing ladies who know what it means to do good.

We are here. In a world that has become familiar to us. 

How can it be that over the past 7 years we have come to love this place?

It is the birthplace of two sons and in a village not too far from here... a little girl... whom we hope to call our daughter.

We are here. Jet lagged. Bleary-eyed.

But at peace.

In an apartment that made us smile.  Greeted by a doll that bears the names of so many who have come before us. Adoptive families. Their names a testimony of those who also crossed the water to do what is right. To love mercy. To walk humbly.

He has shown us what is good.

He has gone before us.

We are so not alone.

The Suitcases are Out

We took a family trip yesterday.

I have no words.

Change is hard.

It is really hard.

Praying for my son as he find his place.

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I'm not packed yet although the suitcases are out.

I think that is a step in the right direction considering we are leaving at noon tomorrow!!

This week we had to stop and take a moment to recognize all the people who have given so freely to this adoption.

Mary's songbird puzzle is covered with names on the back.

Each one precious.

It will hang as a beautiful testimony to her of all the people who have helped love her home.

We are in awe of God's provision for this adoption. 

We are truly in awe.

Confessions from a Muddled Brain

 I am supposed to be blogging. We are leaving in 4 days and I should be over the moon excited and going crazy on here and sharing all about our preparations etc. etc. etc.

I AM over the moon excited. I AM going crazy.  I just cannot begin to put into words the thoughts in my head and heart right now.

Elijah is leaving for college on Thursday. We are driving him to JMU and leaving him. 

That alone is sending me into a tailspin. I should be perfectly capable of being rational about this because I've done this before but still.... It's hard to let go.  I want to stop time from spinning so quickly.

Which is nuts!!

 Because I want time to speed up so we can cross the ocean.

And I want it to stop because I hate letting go.

I can't think straight.  Nothing inside my muddled up brain makes any sense at all. 

Our entire family life is changing in one big huge breath.... but I quit breathing months ago.

So there you have it.

Confessions from my muddled brain.

I'm going to try to do better.

I really am.

I just need to get through the next 2 days with my Kleenex box by my side.

Because I'm going to need it.

A lot.

Let it Begin With Me

My brain is a jumbled mess right now.  We are 10 days from travel yet it feels like a thousand. It's like the world went into slow motion. Brown eyes keep staring at me but I can't bear to change my background picture.

This past weekend was a nightmare. Our little house in the woods is not very many miles from Charlottesville, Virginia and what took place there makes me want to vomit.

The city we love was filled this past weekend with a whole lot of people filled with passion and hate.  That passion and hate killed three people and harmed many others. 

I am grieving this morning over the wrongness of what happened.  Neo-Nazis, White Nationalists. I truly want to be sick.

This week I've been clinging to Micah 6:8 as I think and pray. 


He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?


Do justice. Love kindness. Walk with God.


Let it begin with me.


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I am struggling to blog. I can't find words. There is so much in my head and heart. We have so much to do and decisions to make.

I would be ever so grateful for prayers right now.  Just pray for us. Pray that the Lord goes ahead of us and makes a way.  Pray for peace to reign in our hearts. Pray for wisdom as we make decisions.  Pray for clarity as we make plans. Pray for our sons. Elijah heads for college next week, two days before we leave. The little boys are upended right now and struggling with our leaving. Ben will be carrying the burden of caring for them while we are gone. Pray that God provides all we need. 


It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

Thank you.

MARY

Another Thirteen

Seven years ago this sweet boy completely upended our lives in a village across the ocean.

Today he turns 13.

He's grown so much on so many levels.

And we are blessed to call him our son.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AARON!!!

We have two thirteen year olds in our house!!

How Can I?

Breathing is difficult these days.  I don't suffer from asthma so I can't blame my shortness of breath on that.

I blame the computer.

Well - not really my computer but my computer screen.

Each day... each time I sit down... I am compelled to look at the most beautiful brown eyes. And I stop breathing. And I pray.  And I pray some more. 

My prayers are pitiful.  Just Dear Lords.  And Please.  And then I choke back tears. And gasp a bit.

It's a problem.

Putting the picture of the child who is calling you across the ocean as your background picture on your computer is a definite problem.

It makes breathing difficult and keeps me from focusing on the tasks at hand. 

How can I look in those most beautiful eyes and not want to head for the airport immediately? How do I focus?  How can I keep from counting the weeks (3), the days (21), the hours (I'm not THAT math-smart)?

I'm the one in this household not holding it together very well. The male population around here goes about like nothing at all is about to upend our little house in the disappearing woods. Their emotions are in lockdown until we actually see and hear and know for certain.  They are being realistic. Wise. Careful. Discerning. I can't lockdown my feelings.  I'm lousy at the wait and see attitude that has them serenely passing through the current set of days.  I'm crashing through the house cleaning and gleaning and dragging loads to the thrift shop (if isn't being used then we must not need it).  I'm standing in the little girl aisles in total panic. I'm organizing and counting money and writing to-do lists and planning meals and staring at those beautiful brown eyes and pleading my Dear Lords and Please.

Three weeks.

21 days.

A lot of hours.

A whole lot of time not breathing very well.

MARY

I'm not sure I'm going to make it...

Maybe I should change the background picture on my computer!

Can't You Just Picture Her?

Sweet boys and Mama...

Thank you Shelby for taking such sweet pictures of our little loves.

FOUR WEEKS!!

This morning I contacted our travel agent which makes everything very very real. There is something about buying plane tickets that brings to life the reality of what we are doing.

In case you missed our news....

WE ARE ADOPTING A LITTLE GIRL!!

Mary!!

Can't you just picture her in that picture above with her brothers???

For those who are asking and wondering about our  travel details... just Rob and I will be traveling on the first trip. We will be there for about 7-10 days and then will come home and wait for court.  We do want to take John and Aaron with us on either our court trip or pick-up trip but are not that far enough ahead in our planning to know exactly what we are doing. So stay tuned!!

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Do you want to hear a secret???

The Adair family that I shared about HERE... They are considering adding another sweet one!  A little boy. Their household of girls is going to be totally upended by a noisy, precious, little boy.

Money is the ONLY THING standing in their way.

What is a ransom worth?

They have a $1,000 matching grant. Their grant account needs to read 3,193.00.  They are still 5,000 short for the girls and to add on another one is thousands more.

Oh Please Please Please!!!

Every 5.00 is doubled. 

Please help them reach their grant and maybe maybe a little boy who needs a family full of sisters will be opening presents under their tree this year.

CLICK HERE TO SUPPORT THE ADAIRS

A Rally Cry

I'm home from camp and trying to get back into the swing of life and work and stuff and such.

School starts for the boys in two weeks.

We have a new book that I desperately need to start working on. Rob has been writing for months, but I have yet to get started on my part.

I am editing the audiobook that Rob and the older boys made.

I have one last homeschool convention next week.

It is our busiest time of the year for our business.

We are leaving in 5 weeks.

I was up early early this morning so I could start attacking the to-do list.

But I took a break and checked Facebook.

After stumbling upon one post, I immediately set aside my to-do list. There is a family who is leaving in two weeks.

TWO WEEKS.

Rob and I have a real tender heart for this family because they adopted three little sisters a year ago. We met those sisters and spent time with when we were across the ocean. 

We fell in love with them and were so thankful that this family stepped up to adopt them.

They are heading back for two more sisters.

They are 8,000 short.

But what makes me really sad.... They have been listed on Reece's Rainbow for months now but they have only had 1,002.00 donated towards their adoption. 

They originally needed to raise 30,000 for their two girls and have basically moved heaven and earth on their own to raise 20,000 of that.  They are 8,000 short. They have sold stuff, crafted, sold more stuff, had auctions and on and on and on....

They leave in 2 weeks.

They are so short and a tad discouraged and could really use some support.

Oh please... please... please.... won't you give today?

Can we get their grant account moving?  I don't have anything to offer except a plea.

Can we rally for the Adairs???

CLICK HERE TO SHOW THEM SOME LOVE

Lazy Days and NEWS!!

It's a Yogi Bear annual Reece's Rainbow reunion week...

Two little boys and Mama are here because big brothers were working and Papa had to stay home and tend to our little house in the disappearing woods... which is another fun post for later...

Two little boys and Mama and quite a few other people with us...

This is NOT everyone... 9:00 am is early for some to get up, dressed and up to the pavilion for group pictures.  So add about another 10+ families in this mix...

And add another 25+ babes in this picture full of yellow treasures... all Reece's Rainbow babes...  Oh I am in heaven!!

Thankfully Yogi didn't show up until AFTER pictures were taken!!  This is what a Yogi mob looks like!

Want to know what the BEST part of this lazy Yogi bear reunion is???

Having Nancy call us on a lazy Sunday afternoon in our cabin to tell us that we have travel dates!!!!!!

WE HAVE TRAVEL DATES!!!

We are crossing the ocean at the end of August....

AWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

T H A N K   Y O U  J E S U S!!

Now back to a few more lazy days!!

Waiting Oh So Patiently???

Waiting and waiting and waiting.


Waiting on travel dates.


Waiting and waiting.

We aren't the only family waiting for travel dates which means we are waiting for the families in front of us to get their travel dates, so that we can get travel dates ourselves. We are waiting in line with a bunch of others waiting in line.

Standing in line is tedious and wearisome. It's hard on the feet. It's hard to be patient.

I wouldn't mind the wait so much if fear wasn't constantly nipping at my heels. The fear of losing her is the greatest fear of all. My prayers before the throne are rather incoherent puddles of tears and pleas. I'm glad the Lord doesn't need my words to know my heart.

In the midst of my pleas before the throne are also words of utter thanksgiving. The kindness of friends, family and strangers who have been moved in their hearts to give takes our breath away. Words do not begin to convey our gratitude to each of you who have given so generously. 

Mary's puzzle will be a beautiful testimony to her and to us that God provides. Every single name on her puzzle will be a precious reminder that God cares deeply for orphans.


So we wait and we marvel and we pray...


Patient


Patient


Waiting!

Thirteen

Happy Birthday, John

Thirteen Today!!

Let the Celebration begin!!

Throw Away Kids

Just my two little boys and me at a hotel in Maryland. We came a day early for a wedding so we could bring Rob's mom up for the rehearsal.

So just my two little boys and me enjoying ourselves at a hotel. Swimming. Eating Chinese delivery. Trying Root Beer that John thought was the best drink in the world and Aaron spit out. Ice cream. A slumber party in the king sized bed. TV.

Little boy time with Mama.

I watched them in the pool yesterday. The water too cold for my tastes. I watched them swim and laugh and wrestle and make friends with the other family in the pool. I watched them and I thought.  They were throw away kids. Two of thousands upon thousands of children in a world where disability means abandonment. They were thrown away.

The other family - a father and son and daughter. The daughter laughing and talking and jumping easily and quickly into the water. The father holding the hand of the son. Holding tight.  He was 12. Or 13. I watched as he led him into the water. I watched and wondered and smiled quietly to myself as the boy burst into joy and made his noises and clapped his hands. I watched as that father lovingly and tenderly watched over his son and threw the ball with his daughter and loved both his children.  He loved both his children. The one who could talk and engage and toss a ball and the one who needed him to watch over him.

I watched as my Aaron easily and without pause interacted with that family. I watched as he told them as matter of factly as possible that he was adopted. He was adopted and his hands didn't work right. I watched as he talked to the daughter and the son and the father and made friends with them. I watched and wondered.  My throw away son. My throw away son who loves people with an innocence and agenda-free joy. Making friends with a father and two children. One who in another place would also be thrown away. But here - in this world - in this hotel - a father loves his son. And that gave me the greatest of pleasures.

Some families can't bear to throw them away.

The doctors tell them to give them up. The nurses counsel them that they would be better off institutionalized. Their families plead with them to abandon them. Their neighbors shut the doors in their faces. The school denies them access. The government provides them no services.

Despite all this pressure, there are some families, in a culture and world where abandonment is the norm, who can't bear to part with the ones they love. So they keep them. Holding tight to their hands.

Most of them supportless. Alone. Lonely. Trying desperately to give the ones they love all that they need with little of anything to give to them.

There are few who care in that world but there are a few.

A few who choose to stand against the norm. A few who believe that the value in a person is not measured by their outward appearance or their mental ability. A few who place value as God places value.

They see treasure where others see broken.

These few are reaching out to those families. Providing them hope. Assistance. Support. Acceptance.

Love.

Love.

These few are also reaching out to the ones thrown away. The ones in orphanages and mental institutes.

They visit as much as they can. They teach. They engage.

They love.

They love the unloved.

We have a chance to help one of those few.

We have a chance to come alongside them - provide finances, prayers, encouragement - as they minister to those families who are holding tight to the hands of their loved ones. We have a chance to come alongside as they minister to the many many who have been thrown away.

We have a chance to give these kids - the ones whose families are holding on tight and the ones who have been let go - we have a chance to give each of them a chance to go to camp.

Because that is ONE of the MANY ministries this group does.

Camp Lela.

They give the children - no matter their need - an opportunity to go to camp.

They have already had some camps this year.

One of the camps was at a mental institute for older girls. A whole institute filled with thrown away special needs girls and women got to go to camp for a week. They couldn't take them to the camp so they brought the camp to them.

One of the camps was for autistic children who live with their families.

One of the camps was for special needs children who were able to come to the camp.

They have more planned.

Many many more planned.

It costs 60.00 per child to go to camp.

Hundreds and hundreds of children get the opportunity to go to camp but not enough of them have been sponsored.

Money is tight.

They are stretching it as best as they can.

Please will you CLICK HERE and read more and consider - please consider - sponsoring a child.... or two.. or ten.

Support the families who are holding tight. Give freely so the throw away children have a chance to escape the confines of their orphanages or institutes for a week.

Please.

60.00 sponsors one child.

Children with Autism. Children with Down Syndrome. Children from troubled homes. Children with severe physical disabilities. Foster children. Adopted children. Children from orphanages. Refugee children.

The list goes on. And on. 

I watched a father yesterday love his son. I watched my former throw away kids.

This morning I listened to the Holy Spirit and I wrote this post.

1,200 children.

Only a few have sponsors.

They need sponsors.

Please click. Please give.

Two Boys and a Dog

Goodness gracious I love these boys!!

So does our sweet dog.  Wherever they go... she goes. 

All day.

Every day.

In and out.

In and out.

Ever faithful. Ever watchful.

She doesn't get the award for being the brightest dog in the world... but she definitely gets one for being faithful!

She is sweet beyond words.

She's going to miss them over the next few days.

We are heading to Pittsburgh for a Classical Christian School Convention.

Little boys get to enjoy the city with Papa during the convention hours.  They are SO EXCITED.

I am excited too. Traveling with family by my side is rare and sweet!

Even though I have to work and they get to run around the city, this convention is easier than most which means I'm not standing all day. I get to read and relax during sessions. And in the evening I  get to hang with my guys.

It's a win win.

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We are waiting on travel dates at this point to go meet Mary.

Waiting and waiting.

We found out two weeks ago that Mary's file did not code epilepsy, so we are in the slow waiting line.

At this point we are figuring we will be traveling the middle to end of August.

Ugh!

Please pray for our little girl. Pray that her heart would be open to our family. Pray that she won't be transferred out of the baby house. Pray for peace for us as we wait and trust.  Definitely pray for the peace and trust part!! I'm a bit of a failure in trusting with peace at this point. Waiting is SO HARD!

Mary