Itty Bitties

It's the year of the Itty Bitties….

The littlest babies.

The teeny tiny tots under 5.

Some people groaned when it was announced that ONLY the Itty Bitties would be on the Angel Tree (MACC) this year.

Some people questioned the wisdom of only picking the teeny ones.

I did a HUGE fist pump.

I jumped up and down for joy.

I might even have cried a tiny bit.

  

All three of my adopted children were itty bitty babes in the orphanage.

All three were in decently run baby houses.

All three faced the sorrow and trauma of being transferred.

One went to a decently run older Level 2/3 children's internat where he spent way too long and learned that it is a dog-eat-dog world in orphanage land. 

One went to a Level 3 internat and then got dropped almost right away into the 'summer camp' from hell where she was barely fed or given her meds. She came out of that place bruised, sickly and starved. 

One was sent to a Level 4 mental institute. He wasted an entire year of his life sitting on a bench inside a shed.

All three suffered the trauma of transfer. All three were ripped from the familiar and placed in the unknown with no one by their side. All three learned behaviors of survival that are hard to give up. All three experienced abandonment. All three were completely alone.

In the birth country of my adopted children, transfer happens every year to the Itty Bitties who turn five.

Sometimes they are transferred even earlier than that.

Do you understand why I shouted for joy??

Don't get me wrong!  I care deeply about the older children. I grieve that they are too often lost in the system. All three of my children were 'older children.'

But I am so glad for the opportunity to yell for the Itty Bitties - to have the focus be on them in the hopes that they will find their Mamas and Papas before they have to face the trauma of transfer.

Some of those Itty Bitties are so fragile they will not survive transfer for long.

Some of them will end up in places where they will waste away with nothing to do and no one to engage their minds.

They are so little. They have such potential.

It's their year.

Seven of the Itty Bitties have found families - My Ronald is one of them.

There are 75 more teeny tots who are left.

Would you please go look at them?

Take a moment and SEE them.

If you have ever thought about adoption - if you are praying about it, considering it, wondering if there is room at your table - this is a beautiful opportunity to see 75 wee ones on one page. You can click their pictures and read their profiles. You can pray over them. Talk it over with your family. Pray some more.

Yes. Adoption is EXPENSIVE and LIFE CHANGING and EXHAUSTING and CONSUMING. Yes. You will never be the same.

But children belong in families. And these Itty Bitties are so in need of families. Some of them are in desperate situations. Without families they will not make it.

There are four more days until the New Year. Four more days for 75 wee ones to be seen on one page together. Four more days for yelling and advocating. Four more days for you to consider sowing into their grant accounts so that the cost of adopting them is relieved.

CLICK HERE to see the 75. Please see them. 

 

If you can't adopt them please give. 55 Itty Bitties still have not reached their 1,000 goal!

Fun Times in Philly

If he had his way it would not be having surgery five days before Christmas.

If he had his way he would not be having a surgery that he already had when he was eight years old. 

He didn't get his way!

Arthrogryposis is a rough diagnosis. It impedes his range of motion, makes it difficult to do even the simplest of tasks and his arms and legs and feet are always trying to revert back into their original birth position. 

Fortunately, Aaron's at an age where the reversion won't be as intense and this surgery, to get his arm into a better position for eating and function, should not go awry again.

We have all three littles here in Philly plus Elijah.

The ride up yesterday was harrowing. Mary went into status three different times. We were on the edge of ending up in two different hospitals.

Thankfully, this morning she's bright eyed and happy and her seizures are few and far between. Praying she stays that way!!

The roller coaster she takes us on is sometimes more intense than my heart can take!!

Today and tomorrow, we will wait on Aaron's surgery, hang with him when it is over, take John to his appointments, watch Mary fight boredom by pushing every button in the building despite being told no a thousand times and try to read a few pages in the books we brought. 

Elijah's going sightseeing.... 

Fun times in Philly.

Hopefully we can all go home tomorrow afternoon.

If we have our way...

Wait and See

To all those who lifted us up in prayers on Friday night - thank you.

Little girl came home yesterday.

Unfortunately,when you give two rescue drugs on top of giving a massive dose of Phenobarbital in order to break up seizures.... you can just about guarantee that the seizures will stop for a while but the little girl will be a bit wrecked.

Well... not a bit wrecked.

She's a total mess.

Yesterday she couldn't find her feet to walk on them. Today her feet go in the opposite direction of where she wants to go.

She can't communicate because her words sound like complete gibberish.

Her fine motor skills are non-existent.

Her frustration level is through the roof.

Yesterday when she wasn't sleeping, she was screaming. 

This morning she isn't screaming but is angry and agitated. Sadly, her seizures are coming back.

And we are no closer to understanding why she is going downhill.

We left the hospital with med increases, pats on the back, ideas of things we could try in the future and a 'wait and see what the bloodwork shows up' bit of encouragement.

The wait and see is the hardest. We know she is tanking for a reason which makes the bloodwork so incredibly important. 

But all we can do is wait and see and hang in there with our little mess of a girl on this snowy Sunday.

In the meantime - I want to thank all those who donated to Ronald's grant account!!!

I drew names and here are the winners for my little mini-giveaway...

Sue H - you won the Amazon $100.00 gift card.

Susan B - you won the scarf.

Please contact me at covenantb@yahoo.com so I can get your prizes to you!!!

Friday Woes

I am currently sitting on the bottom of Mary’s stretcher listening to her moan and cry in a miserable drugged sleep. I am typing on my phone with sketchy internet and no chance of a room. The hospital is full. I am grateful for an ER room and not a stretcher in the hallway. It’s been a rough day. 

Little girl has cycled into seizure hell this week culminating into needing to come to the ER. While here she went into status giving a whole lot of doctors and residents and nurses and everyone else in the area a chance to witness her unique version of non-stop seizures. 

They rescued her with some hard core stuff because one dose wouldn’t bring her out and they gave her even more to hopefully stop the cycle. We now know that this new rescue drug makes her drugged and miserable.

A pitiful crying drunk. 

We would appreciate prayers for our little girl. 

Prayers for us too would also be gratefully accepted.

Over the Moon!

What an incredible gift Ronald's Mama and Papa just received!!

A new picture of their little guy!

They are so over the moon excited.

I am so excited for them!!

I still have an Amazon $100.00 gift card to giveaway

...and a BEAUTIFUL scarf from Ronald's country!!

Tomorrow is the last day to enter into the giveaway so don't delay!!

Thank you to Carolyn, Maria, Alison, Nicole, Sue, Buddy, Tammy, Amy, Rachel, Carla, Laura, Amber, Alicia and Susan for donating!!! If you donated and I missed your name somehow - please let me know!!!

CLICK HERE TO DONATE

Magical and Precious

We couldn't put her in the play. She is way too unstable right now. Her seizures continue despite all of our best efforts. 

So we signed Aaron up for the Nutcracker and left little girl at home.

But the little drummer boy in Aaron's cast was overcome with stage fright. And the little ballerinas and candies and clown didn't want to give up their costumes to be the drummer boy. It was a crisis. We needed a drummer boy to match the song.

I had a volunteer. A ready and willing little girl who wouldn't mind at all wearing the cutest costume on the stage! 

She had helpers hold her hand and catch her each time she seized. She could wear her protective headband under her hat to keep her safe.

And she marched and sang words to a song she didn't know.

And she beamed with utmost pleasure.

And her Papa and Mama stood in the back and smiled through shining eyes. 

Magical and precious. Both our children lighting up the stage.

In the midst of many hard days right now... what a sweet gift from the Lord.

Next Christmas, Buddy!!

Next Christmas, Ronald.

Next Christmas you are going to be one spoiled rotten little boy!

Your family just claimed you.

You have a Mama and Papa.

You are going to be a little brother!

I am so over the moon excited for you!

Tears and more tears little Ronald.

Thank you Lord for answering our prayers!

I know Ronald's family. I have had the pleasure of meeting them and I know that he is going to be well-loved and cherished!

I'm still giving away a $100.00 Amazon Gift Card and a beautiful scarf from Ronald's country.

His family has adopted before - two times actually - so money is tight and every little bit is going to help them!!  

Thank you to Sue, Nicole, Buddy, Maria, Alison and Carolyn!! Thank you for caring for him!!

His link is HERE.

NO DONATION is too small - every $5.00 is so appreciated!!

My Giveaway will last until December 7th! Let's fill up Ronald's account. 

Lost Words

Ever spend a precious hour of your time to write a blogpost and then come back and find that it has disappeared?

Gone.

Words written carefully for a little boy in a faraway country.

Words crafted in order to touch hearts.

Words written amidst constant interruptions.

Gone.

I can't rewrite them. Time is too precious and that hour was too hard to find.

These new words have to fit in a 15 minute space.

They must pour out before the needs of my family wash over me.

He's a little boy in a faraway country who has been my Angel Tree boy for three years now.

The first year he was just a tiny babe in a bed.

 

Tied in a bed. Look closely.

I raised 1,000 in his grant account and hoped and prayed that someone out there would look past his scary diagnoses and love him best of all.

He spent a year growing up without a family.

Last year we were blessed with pictures that brought him to life and I was sure - convinced - that he would not be overlooked.

We raised another 1,000 plus a bunch more but again.... no one chose my boy!

So here we are again. 

I am trying again to find him a family and raise his grant account.

I am not doing the greatest of jobs for him. His 2018 goal is $1,000 and so far he has $112.50. And he is still an orphan in a faraway country.

I don't have carefully crafted words to give you. My 15 minutes is about up.

I just have a plea.

Won't you please SEE Ronald.

Help me raise his grant account. Pray with me that his family sees him.

He reminds me so much of John.

I would give anything to have been able to adopt John when he was 4! Orphanages are not homes. Caretakers are not family.

Please consider donating HERE. Any amount. $5.00 $50.00 or $500.00

If you do then please leave a comment or contact me through Facebook or e-mail (covenantb@yahoo.com) because I have a couple of things we want to giveaway....

A BEAUTIFUL scarf from Ronald's country.... pictures to come later....

And a $100.00 Amazon Gift Card...

THANK YOU FOR CARING!!

The Longest 10 Minutes

 

She cried out for me at 2:30 am. I carried her to bed - her little body seizing in my arms. I lay beside her holding her, praying she would slip back into sleep. She lay there, her body relaxed one minute, seizing the next. Over and over. Finally, thankfully, her body relaxed and she slept.

 

We knew it was short-lived.

 

We knew because we had been down this road too many times before.

 

Morning came and with it a torrent of seizures. I could see her on the monitor. Status. A word we have come to loathe.

 

Status. Non-stop seizures.

 

I carried her down and called Rob over from his office.

 

He held her as I gave her rescue meds.

 

Then we waited.

 

The longest 10 minutes each time.

 

She came out in nine.

 

Smiling. Silly. Dopey.

 

Her eyes bright and beautiful.

 

It's not always that way.

 

Sometimes she needs more.

 

Sometimes our more isn't enough and we have to call 911.

 

It's the longest 10 minutes each time.

 

Today she will be hard to manage. Oppositional. Fussy. Rescue med side effects.

 

 

Tomorrow we don't know.

 

Status is coming too many times in the week to ever be able to breathe easy.

 

We removed one drug. Added another.

 

We faithfully administer CBD. We diligently weigh every morsel she eats.

 

On good days she has around 80 or more falling seizures but is sweet and easy and a total delight.

 

On bad days, well... we pray that rescue will work and endure the side effects as best we can.

 

We are doing everything right, but nothing is right.

 

We are in a waiting period. Waiting for the drug we removed to get out of her system. Waiting for our next appointment with our neurologist. Waiting for more tests. Waiting.

 

It's not all dismal.

 

We are trying to find fun in the hard.

 

Besides music and dancing, little girl's favorite thing to do in the entire world is swim.

 

I should have taken this picture when we arrived instead of when we were leaving!! Trust me. She loved it!!

 

 

 

They were no less in heaven themselves!

 



 

Of course the morning we left was a status morning, so little girl was torn between having the time of her life and some pretty fierce tantrums and fighting when she had to leave the pool area.

 

Rescue med side effects make our lives a bit intense to say the least.

 

Great Wolf may be for the kids, but a women's UVA soccer game is a Mama and Papa favorite. Little girl wasn't sure she liked this family activity and with another morning of rescue... well...

 

Between her Kindle and Keto snacks, we got to enjoy half the game in relative peace!

 

Mary's seizures dominate much of our lives.

 

We are grateful she gets to go to the same Christian school the boys attend. The Lord has blessed us with two wonderful aides who tag team keeping her safe. She loves school and is working hard at learning to follow the rules there. Rescue days make it hard but thankfully, they are patient and understanding with our little one.

 

We hold our breath each morning praying that we can get through without the longest 10 minutes.

 

We spend hours every day measuring every bite she eats. Lately she has lost her appetite which makes every meal a battle ground. She HAS to eat every bite.

 

We deal with behavior that wears us down to a nib by the end of the day.

 

It's our current lives.

 

It makes blogging hard. It makes thinking about anything else next to impossible.

 

 

But we love her. We love her so fiercely that it takes our breath away. Last night she was refusing to eat her dinner and was instead crossing her eyes at me with her food squirreled away inside her mouth. I was torn between yelling and laughing. Mary cross-eyed is quite the funniest, most adorable look I've ever seen.

 

 

She is a master at pushing all of our buttons, yet weaving her way deep into our hearts.

 

Deep deep into our hearts!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AARRGGGGHHH!

It's HIS turn!

He has been waiting all summer to have his turn to be a pirate like his Papa and Elijah!

He's been singing and dancing across the stage this weekend in Peter Pan!

This has been his biggest show so far and he is loving every single minute of it!

We are so proud of our little pirate! He has delivered every single one of his lines perfectly. And he's even working on putting expression in his words. If you knew Aaron you would know this is HUGE for him!

We are grateful to all those who took pictures of himn so we could share them. Mama does backstage managing and Papa does set changes, so without our friends snapping photos we wouldn't be able to share our sweet boy!

Keeping Lucy

 

See that adorable sweet puppy in all the pictures in this post... don't be fooled. She's naughty! She likes to jump and nibble and poops in all the wrong places.

 

 

 

She's the first dog we have owned who is not afraid of our stairs. She charges right through the cat door and up the steps to visit Rob in his office. She thinks all the paper and books and office supplies up there are for her puppy pleasure.

 

 

She also thinks every single one of Mary's toys is hers too and chewing them is her favorite pastime. She doesn't mind chewing on John and Aaron's stuff too...

 

 

 

She loves books. She doesn't know to read. She does know how to chew and rip.

 

 

 

 

She loves running under the feet of anyone who is outside making it virtually impossible to walk two steps without tripping.

 

 

She LOVES LOVES LOVES Mary and no... she is NOT a service dog and YES... she thinks Mary down during a seizure is a lovely time to lick and kiss and nibble and walk over top of her.

 

 

 

She's adorable.

 

 

She's naughty.

 

We wonder often what we were thinking!

 

Adding naughty puppy to our crazy is just a bit more crazy!

 

 

But she is a great cuddler.

 

And she loves our family.

 

And she makes us laugh even when she is driving us crazy.

 

Laughter is good medicine.

 

So I guess we will keep our Lucy... or Louees as Mary calls her!

 

And take a few puppy obedience training classes for good measure!